I'm really confused about this because it doesn't entirely make sense to me. Is this bad writing or is there some point I'm missing?
Nothing makes sense to me. Reading the comments before starting the story, I thought it would be a selfish protagonist who after dying once regrets her actions and decides to become better.
Turns out it’s a postpartum depression victim who was left to rot in the house not understood. Gahhh I’m so fucking mad at the scene where she apologizes to the duke! The only one she owes an apology to is her son as it wasn’t his fault. But that’s it!
They both owe each other an apology. They were not good partners to each other. She also mentioned it many times.
I think he holds far more responsibility. He seemed to have no awareness of all the issues she was battling with and didn’t even notice how stuffed up she was or the treatment of his trusted employees towards her. He didn’t reach out and left her to attend parties while holding resentment
The thing is that she already apologized in the town but she has to be the one that brings up apologies again just for him to say sorry too
I think there is no "holds far more responsibility" in a marriage. Isn't there supposed to be an equal footing. Also you mentioned, he was not aware of the issues she's battling. So is she. I think you keep forgetting the fact that ML went through a lot too. Imagine if we view it on ML's perspective: you lost your father, got married, went to war, your own relatives wants you dead, purged them yourself then became a father. Your wife went through depression but you don't know how to handle it. He got no one to ask or someone to guide him. He must have thought giving her as much freedom as she wants would be good. And he saw it as her, going to parties. His wife neglects their son and I bet he don't even how to be a father at that age. His wife went to depression and you got a whole duchy on his shoulder. You got to act like a single parent (tho its so far from being a good one) and his wife only cares about party. Of course, he won't know what to apologise for. In his pov, he's been doing his best while his wife never did. She also, didn't reached out. But yes of course, he got a lot of mistakes and he have to realize it before he apologize. If he says sorry now, but don't even understand what he did wrong. It will be so shallow, it's useless. So I like that the author didn't made him apologize just because MC apologies. I think it will hold more meaning if he understood first.
Anyways, what I'm saying is. I think they both hold equal responsibility as they both suffered during their marriage. I also think it's unfair to weigh who suffered more, expressed more or who apologies more.
I know we tend to understand MC more because we're seeing things in her perspective. We saw more of her suffering and understood her more. That's why we tend to ask ML to do more in this relationship. But I think that will be unfair. That's why I tried to see it in ML's pov too. Imagine being him as much as being her.
You know what, you’re absolutely right, I think I sympathize with her far more because we get the story from her perspective but ... I still can’t help but throw more shade at him. At LEAST he had freedom, he had a lot to bear on his shoulder but he didn’t suffer mental illness. Women at that time had enough to bear with, now add that with being treated as shallow and childish. But again, it is her fault as well I agree. She should’ve vocalized her sufferings, even throwing tantrums would’ve been better.
But he's not as free as he seemed to be. Remember, he suffered consequences after marriage because of political nonsense (seriously, for me, society and politics during during those time are the worst). A lot of people have expectations from him for being the head. But yes, he should have more patience and comforting for her. Because she had depression. How do I say this, depression doesn't really have to have reasons. It's just one day your so fed up, you don't know what to do. Anyway, it's complicated. And what is even more unfortunate is during those time they don't understand depression. Even now, a lot of people don't and brushes it as "weak person". And "Roles" still exist now a days and some jobs still don't accept women. Society during that time is just too cruel for women. Like they're just tools for marriage. Like. Wth.
God I feel so indignant on her behalf. She lived there for 16 years and had mere employees running her over, managing her like a 10 year old girl on the excuse of “she might be a spy”. The chapter where she is finally allowed to go out for a stroll left me bitter instead. I want punch that white haired employee so badly. Who does he think he is??? Is there no weight to someone titled a Duchess just because she’s a woman? But I guess I’m just as vexed with her as well. That she swallowed all of this instead of kicking up a fuss and threatening divorce