That feeling

I get that feeling Jiho. Growing up not surrounded by unconditional love was tough on a kid who thought everyday shouting and banging doors were the norm.

I still remember going to my friend's house, and her family bond was nothing like mine. They'd casually joke around, teasing each other while smiling and laughing. When my friend would sulk, they'd try to comfort her through shared meals. She'd received bit of her parent's meal as affection gesture.

So when we finally experience how a "normal" household" should've been, we get uncomfortable, jealousy, envy, and that empty feeling.

Yes while it is true we shouldn't assume based on the surface, I can't help but think if our life would've been different.

And if you're wondering, do I hate my friend because of this? Yes I did. I broke it off when we were both 14.

Last year we were both 17, we reconciled. I've learn my way to express my feelings without hurting others in the process. And the best part? I was so goddamn happy her family was there to support her, along side with me cheering for her.

My advice is, don't let traumas and bad experience ruin your relationships. Learn, be patience, and most of all, understand. Give yourself a break, don't bottle it up.

The feelings won't go away completely, but it is your choice weither to act or not act on it.

Open the door and windows if its suffocating. Ask for help, reach out, let yourself be surrounded by those who supports you no natter what.