THANK YOU, i 100% agree
You've worded this so perfectly and I 100% agree.
To me the thing that was gross about this is that the author romanticized their abusive relationship and glorified it as a good thing?
I like abuse (IN FICTION lmaoo) when it shows it as being abusive, and even if the MC ends up with the abusive asshole in the end and actually loves them it's shown in a bit of a 'bittersweet' kind of way.
Or I like it when they start off abusive and unhealthy but slowly learn more about each other and develop from there.
This was just... neither. And reading it was all sorts of uncomfortable.
Okay, so, disclaimer (and it's gonna sound weird but): I generally like abusive relationship stories.
They can be quite a diversion from the tropes that can so easily get repeated to death. You can go so many ways with them and show vast growth and interesting ways of thinking even if it is a little messed up. But, honestly, this horrified me the whole way through.
It's not that I hated it per se but I am definitely turned off by a character constantly saying "no" and "I'm scared" both internally and externally. Mostly due to my own experiences I suppose.
But it's not just that. Because there are actually quite a few BL stories that can start out abusive and fucked up and the pair progress into a, somewhat, stable relationship. Mistakes can be rectified and people can change and trauma must be worked on. I'd say this just doubled down on the abuse, acknowledged it in passing, and then told us that everything is going to be okay now
I'm writing a freaking essay at this point but I think it needs to be said that there are much better ways to write abusive relationship stories, and even better ways of romanticising it. This is just bad writing.
Plus Haruki finally gets asked what he wants for the first and only time and yet never really answers the question (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
His reasoning ends up being 'well this feels sexually pleasing so I might as well give up any ambitions and dreams I probably had as a hardworking top student at a prestigious academy so I can be a baby factory for this younger dude who stalked and raped me like twice'.
Haruki wasn't the kind of character that this trope suits. He was intelligent enough to earn a scholarship to a hoity toity school and driven enough to excel. He was defiant enough to take on a world of stigma. So when he just ends up being exactly what the stereotype of an omega is I just feel (╬￣皿￣)凸
Someone like that wants something more from life. Someone who wanted to plan having a child and raise a family differently from his frivolous parents doesn't deserve this treatment and it honestly sickened me how every other character didn't care about anything. Haru was the only normal and sane character in the entire series and he was a cardboard cut out weepy uke.
P.S. wtf is up with the artwork keep it goddamn consistent ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ