Responses
Ma'am this is Wendy's drive-through
its okay. just because you forgive him doesnt mean you should be able to magically forget all the horrible things he did. its not your fault in the 1st place
When I first read this , I thought the boxer uke guy was weird for being scared of the boxer seme and not scared of the yakuza seme , but then after couple of days I remember my own life .. I used to always fight people when I was kid , people older then me and much larger and I was never afraid even when I was lossing fights and I never felt scared or pain , but when my own parents hit me especially my dad , I get so coward and cry and scared of him even his footsteps and the sound of my parents room unlocked alter my fear senses , I many times faked sleeping so I can avoid interaction with him .. now I am older and he sick old man I can easily hit him back but seeing him weakened as old man make all the horrible memories of him make me more angry at my self and at him .. I hate myself for feeling sorry for him , I hate myself for loving him , i hate myself for not being able to forget what he did .. I may say I forgive him but in my heart I am still hurt .
[Edit]
Point I want to make is the emotions of fear and betrayal come when you trust the person , I trusted and loved my dad so when he hit me cuz I did not want to loss him and loved him I did not fight back so I was scared , but when I fought strangers I had no fear cuz it did not make difference to me if I lost them or not cuz they were nothing to me .