i think the reason why he was like that before was that bc ianna still doesnt understand her own feelings and arhad loves her ever since she was still a god but didnt know what to do. he prolly thinks that if ianna kept on losing, she'll finally give in and choose to be by his side (the violet haired sorceress mentioned to ianna that arhad just wanted her) but bc arhad never rlly understood ianna, it ended up being tragic b/w them
I agree that Arhad and Alanna didn’t understand each other and neither really tried in the last life. In the last life Alanna just wanted to beat Arhad and Arhad just wanted to conquer Alanna as his final prize. In this life Alanna wants to be on Arhad’s side so she’s getting to know and understand him. In the process, he’s realizing that he can get her without violently conquering her.

It feels like in the first life Arhad saw Alanna as an object or a prize to win. Now he's getting to know her and realizing that she's a person with feelings and emotions.