what mental illness does he have?? I mean anyone would get paranoid when stuff like this h...

I think he meant to say paranoia

I think he is summarising his feelings to be a mental illness: Anxiety- thus turning in to acting irrationally (what others would seem irrational). He overlaps events like a trauma so probably having others tell him its irrational he thinks that he is at fault. Most likely the author will explain as we go on but I'd get why he would say it that way. It tends to work as a dismissive excuse and self blame.