Granted we are dealing with many different authors, but its frustrating when one of the main messages Harlequin's promote flys in the face of RL statistics. So many times it is accurately pointed out in other stories that you can have sex without love, so its a disappointment when you have a story like this, that has a good foundation, and the ML goes off in the worst possible direction and uses sex to prove to a insecure 'housewife' that he loves her. There is no wonder she took the message she did from his 'wham, bam, goodbye' and then to prove he loves her, he does it again without the goodbye, and that's the problem.
Sex is physical. Yes, it is intimate, but it is physically intimate. It is not a deep, intimate emotional relationship. It’s not the kind of relationship that can keep you together when things get tough. If your relationship is based on showing love through sex, what happens when sex is not an option? That is one reason why RL statistics show the people who waited have longer, more satisfying marriages. They have built their relationships on something deeper and more stable. For them, sex is icing on the cake... it is something that makes an already good thing better.
In a story like this, it ends up being a disappointment because Elliot seemed like a really intelligent man... one who would really have the best interests of his future wife at heart and would want to secure her heart before he secured her body. If he waited as long as he has, I think he could have managed to wait a little longer. By the end of the story, she has taken great strides to overcome her insecurity, but that is not something that is going to disappear overnight, and if his method (as this book would seem to indicate this is his MO) is to take her to bed to prove his love every time it rears its ugly head, and something happens that they can't.... Scarey thought. its a little late at that point to be scrambling to find new ways to express love that are as emotionally satisfying as the method she has been conditioned to expect. I'm not saying its impossible, but I'm saying it is going to be rough, and the marriage might not survive. So much better, when you enter marriage, to be secure in the knowledge your relationship is strong and stable, and THEN add the further intimacy of showing it in a physical way. Had the story taken that tact, IMO it would have been more emotionally satisfying. As things stand, while I don't doubt he loves her, we never really see him pursuing her heart.
Granted we are dealing with many different authors, but its frustrating when one of the main messages
Harlequin's promote flys in the face of RL statistics. So many times it is accurately pointed out in other stories that you can have sex without love, so its a disappointment when you have a story like this, that has a good foundation, and the ML goes off in the worst possible direction and uses sex to prove to a insecure 'housewife' that he loves her. There is no wonder she took the message she did from his 'wham, bam, goodbye' and then to prove he loves her, he does it again without the goodbye, and that's the problem.
Sex is physical. Yes, it is intimate, but it is physically intimate. It is not a deep, intimate emotional relationship. It’s not the kind of relationship that can keep you together when things get tough. If your relationship is based on showing love through sex, what happens when sex is not an option? That is one reason why RL statistics show the people who waited have longer, more satisfying marriages. They have built their relationships on something deeper and more stable. For them, sex is icing on the cake... it is something that makes an already good thing better.
In a story like this, it ends up being a disappointment because Elliot seemed like a really intelligent man... one who would really have the best interests of his future wife at heart and would want to secure her heart before he secured her body. If he waited as long as he has, I think he could have managed to wait a little longer. By the end of the story, she has taken great strides to overcome her insecurity, but that is not something that is going to disappear overnight, and if his method (as this book would seem to indicate this is his MO) is to take her to bed to prove his love every time it rears its ugly head, and something happens that they can't.... Scarey thought. its a little late at that point to be scrambling to find new ways to express love that are as emotionally satisfying as the method she has been conditioned to expect. I'm not saying its impossible, but I'm saying it is going to be rough, and the marriage might not survive. So much better, when you enter marriage, to be secure in the knowledge your relationship is strong and stable, and THEN add the further intimacy of showing it in a physical way. Had the story taken that tact, IMO it would have been more emotionally satisfying. As things stand, while I don't doubt he loves her, we never really see him pursuing her heart.