Tw// suicide

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I have experienced this ever since my childhood my sister was having a hard time because of my mom and my dad who's both suicidal and problematic at the same time. One of them had high hopes for another the other was just like an air. The only difference is hamin loved his brother so much and loathed for her mother because of what she did. I'm mad because of how we feel about our mother his and mine. After my dad died we somewhat had the worst relationship in my life. I've experienced everything from slapping and telling me i wasn't good enough to be her daughter. I love her but i hate her too. I too was suffocated even my sister wants to run away from our home but we can't. I tried to commit suicide because i blamed myself for the death of my fatehr and the aftermath my sister had to experience after his death. We love her and we can't leave her behind even if that's what she did for us. So idk haha just wanted to share this