THIS! THIS!!
I am just like Dojun and this chapter was painful to read
....I had a date similar to this doctor not that long ago as well. Now I am very much aware of clues to take care of and not desperate. This bitch said stuff like "I do not just want to do it, I want to date properly, too. Let's meet and see how it works." We first agreed to have a coffee somewhere, then the date was moved to the evening....I swear I just went, cause I already got styled and just wanted to get my agenda for the day to go out. But bruh....he came in freaking track suits...he at least smelled like the clothes were fresh from the laundry....but yeah...and then when he saw me ( I look quite alright) he was like " Wooow I need to treasure you." And from then on I dissociated form this date ahahaha...I swear...He spouted all kinds of nonsense not even an hour into the date and I just went along with "yeah, sure, nice, thank you, amazing, no i like you too" and suddenly he kissed me and i was startled but just went along but bruh....i know it destroyed him how apathetic I was....like bruh...so you "just wanted to see how it goes" yeah? who are you kidding you immature, hormone driven, slave of your own dick? that is what this doctor is to me as well....only difference is he is a bit more intelligent and has a proper job....so he thinks he is "better" than this failure of a date...but he is the same category of person... a guy that would go to any lengths to serve his dick...even lie and trick his own conscious....just to please his dick....pathetic bastard
that the doctor is a good match for Dojun really seem to be ones that would fall for the "right words" of someone....or just in general never had a proper relationship without even hints of toxicity....
Dojun is a person that seems to have been emotionally abandoned throughout his life. He knows he has a family and that they care about him somewhat, but he never felt like someone gave him "proper attention". This is a feeling that is hard to describe and that can make someone go near insane from questioning yourself. Like why am I like this, even though I have such a good family? What is wrong with me? Am I evil? Why am I jealous of my brother?
He needs someone that is like the "sun" that warms his lonely heart. We know seems like that. Most people I know all say the are the "best seme of all time". He needs someone that is optimistic by nature, that is totally in tune with themselves, responsible, that knows love and how to love and that will court him properly. That will give him attention from the get go and read his mood and stuff and not ignore it. BECAUSE THAT IS HIS WOUND. His emotions were always ignored. He himself even ignored them. He was a child that needed attention, but could not ask for it. But he knew how it felt to feel lonely, so he never wanted his younger brother to feel like that and gave to him what he wished for. He is very tender and sensitive.
Some selfish sex maniac, whose ultimate goal is sex, so all he does and every "nice" thing he does is only so he can somewhat get a "conscious" partner into bed and fuck them. You can see it right there. How Dojun seems super emotional and actually the seme should draw back there, get some tea, cuddle in a blanket and just be there for him and see if he can make him talk his heart out and then sleep like that.
But he ignores it and just goes on to fuck Dojun again who is not properly "there" AGAIN.
The thing with people like Dojun is they do like intimacy. But only in order to feel more connected to someone they emotionally bonded with. Right now though, because he is so sensitive, he acts in a very common way that some may know from experience.
When you actually like that there is SOMEONE that gives you attention, you sense there is something amiss, but you get swept up in it and go along with their demands and all, because you want to not loose their attention and you can get used to this. But you will never truly feel "fulfilled".
Dojun needs someone that will make him realise on his own that he is great as he is and become more emotionally intelligent and then when he is ready, to wait for him so that Dojun approaches him himself. Like a best friend to lovers relationship. Again, something we see sometimes and call it "fluffy stuff that heals the heart."
Anyway...I am very disappointed. This hit me differently because I was like this when I was around 20 and lost in life and fell for the first dude that looked my way and it turned out bad and I KNEW i could have avoided it, if I just not ignored the intentions behind what he did and said....hhhh...do not ever fall for people like this Doctor, if you are not as sassy and confident like the other seme and at least as cool like the other uke....those two have proper confidence and self worth to be able to not just be blinded by their own needs served on a super suspicious (fake) silver plate(the doctor is this)