Uhm

Meh, i thought it was not that bad - she has a frustrating lifestyle like a bird in a cage - She could never be happy because society would never acknowledge her : even the butler and the maids look down on her - so she has a little bit of temper and anger
She compromise and stay because it’s (very) confortable and she liked the boy a bit - but that boy path is becoming a man path, and that man will always be a duke … having a relationship with her despite public opinion is one thing, but many things about their lifestyle, values, duties, etc, they simply cannot share
I don’t think she’s the type to be insecure, i believe she just chose her best option taking advantage of what she can, as long as she can !
She also choses not to be a « mistress «  , she’s not climbing his coat for the sake of a safe position, the fire is beautiful while it burns … it’s interesting she’s not written as an absolute villain
But she’s very awake of what she is : a beautiful woman with no pedigree : she probably knows better than anyone this could never have lasted outside of a teenager romance ?

Ohhh thats an interesting insight. I honestly dont find her annoying. I think its reasonable for her to have temper even, especially when shes been in relationship with the duke for years. Both her & the FL are only accepting the things the duke gave. So far, I didnt see her asking for grand service like being a duchess nor asked the duke to dismiss the maids who clearly disliked her. She just... existed to give affection to the duke.

It kinda ticks me off that everyone thinks shes the only one at fault for making the duke chose a dancer instead of a noblewoman and painted the duke as a helpless bewitched man as if the duke didnt willingly chose her at the first place. I wanna continue reading but the duke kinda pissed me off lol, his indecisiveness, inability to keep his words, and the way he tried to appeal the FL is a major turn off idek why o(-<

I agree with you - From the start, it’s not like he and calendula had a passionate relationship in which they were the sun and moon of each other’s, they had a sweet and respectful transaction
She says she « liked him a bit » not that she was madly in love - and he mentioned she wads like a breath of air, or some kind of salvation : this is not love ! This is self preservation - for both of them
for him his puppy love/ first love did not seem based on his admiration and love for her as much as finding an answer to his own need (teenage : becoming an individual, being recognized for himself, not as an heir, or a function «  being a duke »
She gives him an island of freedom - in exchange he provided a quasi confortable place : lots of physical luxury (dresses, jewelry, beautiful place to stay) she can never be accepted (she lives in the annex, the servants don’t respect her, family and society loathe her) - but she doesn’t ask for it - she made up another self-preservating philosophy : she cares not for titles and social hierarchy - she’d better not on fact , she would be miserable and frustrated if she did

But maybe if she asked, he would have granted her a title, actually the fact that neither of them went against social rules to strengthen their bond through marriage is also proof of the quality of their relationship - a beneficial exchange, not a crazy love

At the same time - because she can’t be accepted, she provides a very lonely island, they can only be in their bubble, the outside world will always judge them harshly

After 6years, that lonely probably didn’t get better, what they have to exchange is probably less (passion dies like fire in a bubble), the limits of their relationship has become obvious : he has to marry someone else for exemple , he also can’t share many things as their position and values deeply differ
He also probably had time to overcome his fear of being a duke - he’s been working at it with success for a while , he had ample time to fight for himself and then enjoy and discover about his own personal needs and desires : he has finished building himself both as a duke, and as an individual, thanks to his relationship with her
Basically then, he has no need for her anymore - and that need is what made « them »

He’s the one « using her » to grow - in exchange she uses the material confort he buy for her - again this is a transaction labeled as love
I’m not talking about him being manipulative, he’s not, it’s just an interpretation that seems to fit their exchange - it’s in our nature to survive : he felt he deeply needed her (need is probably stronger than love)

When the wife come in , even if she does nothing, she becomes a place of social acceptance - and we deeply are social animals - the stress of being on the margin is something he might never have acknowledged, but he will undoubtedly find the confort of this new found acceptance and the joy of his enthusiastic kin
On top of that because she doesn’t ask for anything : it all comes for free! (We love freebies deeply, and that’s a big one)
She has a positive image, she gives him a place where he can happily fit without effort - even without her personal quality, any social creature would be severely influenced by that

Do there you have a balance - a lonely island for outcast , or a joyful oasis where he naturally belongs