Basically Karel had a one sided relationship with Sasya their entire time together. He wanted to confine him so no one would take interest in him and in a sense steal him away (?). When the duchess talked to Sasya one on one he actually agreed to ditch Karel and get a recommendation into the dance academy in France so the duchess could have Karel to herself. I’m guessing when Sasya stabbed the robber and when Karel took over his punishment he then decided to leave their home and build a name for himself doing what he ultimately loved (dancing).
When Karel is in war and gets promoted and gets that 3 day vaca he realizes that Sasya left him(letters/home). Based on Julian’s words (Kareld brother) he said to just forget about Sasya and move on. DESPITE this he still had a yearning for Sasya hence the whole “fetish for black haired males”.
Sasya on the other hand has a personality switch when he gets that letter from Julian stating that Sasya is dead from going into the western part of the war. This causes Sasya to regret everything he did to Karel and this sense of mourning for their past bond and how Karel treated him like NO other being did (others just wanted his bod) makes him adopt that child Charles for a change.
Btw Not really sure but just my interpretation
Oh bless thank you for the plot description. I think I followed the story until the scene where Sasya was running away to France but stayed behind ?? And was still terribly depressed and relied on alcohol when living with Karel ?? I'm guessing Sasya was still terrified of being abandoned and living on the streets and had gotten accustomed to Karel's presence ?? And guessing Karel was just too obsessed with Sasya to care about Sasya clearly spiraling or was just unable to stop Sasya's spiraling? And seems Sasya in the recent chapters wants to get Karel back bc time and distance eand news of Karel's passing elevated his feelings for Karel (therefore the chasing switched)..
Your response actually really helped me understand some of this more tyty it was just hard initially to understand any of the messiness in the characters
im so dumb bc i do not understand any of these characters like what is going on