Theory!

Im currently on ch36 from the story so far I think she's in a different dimension/timeline whatever you call it, having 2 person whose the same is impossible, so I'm thinking that the current life she's on is her life but in a different dimension and the reason of her preserved memories of illiana is because of julli dragon. But in order to go back in time to when illiana is still alive julli has to be born on a timeline/dimension where illiana can still live aka a dimension where she still has a reason to live aka her son and that means = illiana will not go back to julli anymore because of her child and that he'll be left alone as a sacrifice he had to make. Julli mightve even wished for a timeline where Illiana will be happy

Im thinking that haven and illiana has the same sad fate in their past life considering how Haven was already in a dire situation when illiana transferred,and maybe that's the reason why illiana became haven. And another is that in her current life she was never illiana but instead she's just haven in this life and that illian and haven are completely different person in this timeline/dimension