finished rereading, I CAN LITERALLY SEE ALL THE WAY BRO (seonwoo) PUTS UP BARRIERS BETWEEN HIM AND EVERYONE ELSE NOOOOOOO I KNEW BRO WAS LIKE HELLA UNTRUSTED PROB FROM HOW HIS CARETAKERS NEVER ACTUALLY TOOK CARE OF HIM AND THAT PROB INSTILL A SENSE OF INFERIORITY AND WORTHLESSNESS IN HIM NOOOOOOOOOO WHY IS BRO LIKE ME FR (also this is all speculation and prob thoughts driven by my personal attachment to this character because of how much he reminds me of myself)
lemme js try to list out the ways he distances himself from his peers
- his whole polite front
i feel it serves multiple functions for him that all add to how he may subconsciously use it to keep others at arms distance (or whatever). with him adopting this persona that he built to present as someone desirable to be around (finding it easy to get what he wants because as long as he presents as this kind, caring person while being blessed with a ‘kind’ looking face - easy to idealize him / kinda the type you want to be around or the guy you want to be, yk), i feel hes able to differentiate between the act hes putting up and the true authentic him. LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT, BRO JS DOES A LOT OF DETACHING, like bro draws a fine line between what is and what isnt, if yk what i mean
if someone would let me, i would weite an analysis on seonwoo from my very biased perspective.
comment unfinished, gon reread the second half again to refresh my memory of seonwoo
(semi ramble, i js wanted to comment on it because i have the same thinking process as this guy and its insane / also prob gon be incoherent but ion really care, im js putting my thoughts out there)
also im hard projecting on this seonwoo when i try to break apart his psyche
the way he immediately goes to the conclusion that tae-seo is faking this kindness and actually scheming to take revenge against seonwoo - it resinates with me in the sense that it (probably) comes from a place of:
- seowoons refusal to accept someones affection as genuine due to past relationships where he was only really validated when he put up a ‘polite front’ that didnt allow space for him to explore himself and form an individualized identity outside of others expectations and perceptions in him. im assuming that when only the polite, kind version of him was deemed the only acceptable presentation of himself, he realized this was the ‘only’ way that people would like/interact with him. in that realization he almost ‘accepted’ it and cultivated that version of him to better please/attract others so he could get what he wanted.
(part that im not too sure about, will revise when im done re-reading the second half) i feel theres some underlying imposter syndrome because hes essentially acting out a character to get what he wants. and from that, im sure he felt some sort of resentment for that mask he put up along with people in general due to their ‘inability’ to see past this mask of his + him seeing that most others around him also put up a sort of polite front because of how he presents himself.
um. i scrolled up looking at my probably deranged rambling and um. it probably doesnt seem like a coherent train of thought (im sorry TT)
cat break from my autist rambling
apparently cats purr when theyre sad to comfort themselves so if a cat purrs on you, they probably sensed some sort of distress in you and wanted to comfort you (from this one vid from Casual Geography or some)
lemme re-read his arc then come back with my thoughts on it.