pls ignore random rant

4am and im here thinking that the person i loved the most in the world was an online friend that i never met in real life and she also ghosted me after a good 2 almost 3 years of being virtual friends.. ml here got angry with mc after being ghosted for what 2 weeks? 4 years later and she is still the person i most like in the world even if she probably doesnt even remember me anymore

got me thinking that i was like seyeong (almost never sent a picture of me and didnt even go on voice chat because i am ugly and was afraid that she would hate me because of that, ik he didnt sent pics or vc with heejae because of that but still got me thinkin a little..) and she was just like heejae, always trying to voice chat all the damn time and sending me random pictures of herself, i miss those times all day long thats so freaking funny

i think she was the very first real friend i made that understood me, because i never got to have a real friend all of my life bc i am a loser and blabla that kinda of shit you can imagine

after she left me i never made a friendship with anyone and i dont want, because nothing feels real anymore and i always think everyone will leave me, so i prefer to be the one who leaves, because atleast i wont feel disappointed

also funny rant.. all the people i tried to befriend after she left were total assholes to me and badmouthed me behind my back , maybe thats a signal that i should never ever have a friend again lol

if you read it till here well you wasted your time