╥﹏╥ the fact that I kind of can understand Chitra because I’m also have self destructive tendencies
As a recovering workaholic, the struggle to stop and rest is extremely real and difficult, and it's unfortunately super easy to get upset at others getting hurt but at the same time you're sort of numb and blind to your own self destructive actions on an emotional level :') For me personally I guess it's because I was highly anxious and the act of resting felt like relinquishing what little control I had in my life, not realising that not doing so would actually give me less. It's a type of mental illness imo, and a symptom of something deeper. Just like with any addiction.
I wish I'd had someone in my life to call me out on it though, so I can't really relate to that part lmao
I love a hard-working MC but when they become workaholics who push their bodies way past their limits and them ignore all their loved ones’ pleas to take a break lest they get sick or injured or collapse, I get super annoyed. It feels like their worry gets trampled on as unimportant and then the MC sort of sighs with annoyance at how they have all these caretakers buzzing around them.
Earlier or mid-series in the series, Chitra got called out as “self-destructive” because she had to strengthen herself quickly to the point where she adopted some rather unhealthy habits for a regular human and refuses to be vulnerable for even her close circle. Radelk softly assuages her little crisis and let her cry but I feel like she took that comment to heart and just worked harder to hide any sort of human weakness she might have and that’s INFURIATING to me. She collapsed from overwork but keeps trying to sneak out to do something ‘productive’. I just finishes the Phib sparring event and she brushes off Phib’s worry because she pulled out all the stops to fight him, taxing her own body, but then flies off the handle that Phib’s wrist is injured and he didn’t address it and I’m like “POT CALLING KETTLE BLACK HERE?!”