I almost started crying from laughter when i saw the first dick

I thought I was looking at a club...they could seriously injur someone if they decided to beat them to death instead of f***ing them...

Yeah the first one looked like a baguette or something. But the top one looks like some kind of 2 liter bottle of soda.. and how do these people hide their "stuff" if your dick is that size you would struggle in your daily life