? Wanting to be choked to death is is pretty extreme and doesn’t have anything to do with control. But even outside of that he actually prefers having some level of control, like when he was about to get assaulted in the club bathroom, he didn’t dislike the actual assault part but was adverse to the location. He hated the exhibitionist play because he had no control and there was no pain. When he was r*ped by the stalker he felt as though he was in control the entire time, purposely pretending to be drunk and acting like he woke up in the middle of it so the guy would be more violent with him. He was clearly bothered when things started getting out of hand precisely because he felt out of control.
I don't agree, the first two examples is a problem of location, just because you like losing control doesn't make you magically enjoy exhibition and unsanitary things.
Last example, if you remember he found it boring, he was in control and it wasn't enough.
And what are you talking choking isn't about losing control ? You literally lose control of your ability to breath.
Anyway rape to begin with is all about control over the other person so his obsession with it should have told you everything you need.
This is so dumb.
All the uke really need to say is he likes rape play. It's not the extreme he is looking for, it's the lack of control. So the play can go "as far as the other wants" it'll never be enough if he feels in control. But uke is too dumb to know what he want let alone communicate it and the seme totally fail at dealing with the situation and establishing communication.
They're both trash. The uke because he is an self-centered asshole and the seme because he blames everything on the uke.