
Tl:dr at the end. So, it's a dumb set up but basically:
1) set up is a patriarchy and men are fully in control of everything. This means that if they're too displeased, it becomes a problem for the women.
2) In the past, she straight up said, "I'm not x person" and they didn't believe her. When she finally proved it, the man yelled at her for deceiving him and it "became a huge mess". Based on most of the historical fiction I've read, that means that there was likely not just a scandal but her family had to pay a fee or her father had to kowtow to a bunch of people to smooth things over.
3) the custom here is that it's inappropriate for her to just show her face so she's trying to give him hints.
Tl;dr: Basically, she wants him to figure it out and call off the engagement so she doesn't have to deal with wounded male ego. It's NOT a good set up but it's a refreshing change to what I'm used to so I'll deal with it for a few more chapters. Hopefully, they don't drag this out for too long.
Wait why doesn't she tell him that he has the wrong person, or how do they not realize that the house they are visiting isn't the one they acctually wanted, is everyone here stupid