Exactly!!
Like, there are several ways to hit us with the emotional damage, you don't have to make the safeword the method to inflict it lol
And what's sad is that I can't recall, at least in recent memory, a single BDSM or domsubverse series that doesn't use this trope. First couple times I could chalk it up to them just not knowing, but atp it's an immersion breaker and disappointing.
There is one good bdsm manhwa (or two) but I can't remember the name. I'd have to dig through my lists to find them
If you remember go ahead and send them my way lol
I'll check to see if I've read them yet or not... give that between this site and mrm I've read over 5,000 bl titles atp LOL
It's probably why I struggle to remember stuff sometimes.
Kuroi Yodaka has a good one called Praise Me When I'm a Good Boy. It's domsubverse where both the sub and dom struggle with feeling comfortable fulfilling their needs and I'm p sure they don't use "I love you" as a safeword at least lol
Yodaka-sen is also just one of my fave bl mangaka of all times rn. You should check their other works, too, if you haven't already lol
But the point of a safeword is for it to be something you wouldn't normally say during sex or could be mistaken as encouragement to continue.
A lot of BDSM centered stories do this trope where they make "I like/love you" their safeword, and I get *why* to a degree, but it immediately sucks me out of the moment every single time. It's why the fucking "pineapples" thing was a running joke for so long. It sounds silly af but it's a good example of what to use. It's not only a word you wouldn't say in the heat of the moment but it's also good at breaking the tension 'cause of how nonsensical it is. No one is gonna continue a hard-core play after hearing someone shout pineapples lol
I just wish bl authors would understand why safewords are so important just a tiny bit more and not treat it like an emotional crutch plot point.