Ever since they slept together on the same bed and Seo-In realized Yeongwoon was also suffering in those 10 years. the colors have become so much brighter. It makes me think it's a sign their relationship will only improve from now on, because they have to face the same trauma as they did in the past but this time they might rely on each other. I honestly don't see the hyung as a real love rival, Yeongwoon only saw him as a father figure and he has no room in his heart for anyone other than Seo-In. </> And I really love the parallels, like YW running away twice after seeing the kiss, all their past moments that still affect them in the present. This is a story that truly makes sense after reading the second season, the creator did such a good job with revealing little clues about their past trauma. Seo-In believes that he's unworthy of being loved, that he's dirty, these are all feelings that were reinforced by his brother (who was likely a sociopath/psychopath), who took advantage of the fact that Seo-In's real parents were murderers. Seo-In even calls himself a whore in the present, he was groomed by Jaewon to be like him, all the while his identity was taken away from him (not celebrating his own birthday, getting the same clothes and haircut as Jaewon). YW was his only support system in a world devoid of real affection, so when he thought YW did not take his feelings seriously he started to spiral and became the person Jaewon wanted him to be. He's probably into bdsm with strangers because it gives him a sense of control that he never had in his life (and that's why he doesn't do it with YW, because with him he feels safe). I'm not excusing Seo-In's actions, but he possibly had no real chance to turn out differently from the emotional abuse he suffered his whole life. Now he knows YW has problems, he even asked him about the last 10 years, there's no way Seo-In will let go of him this time around. </> And Yeongwoon is also a very well-written character. He has his flaws like Seo-In and they also stem from his trauma. Unlike SI, YW was physically abused, resulting in him suppressing his negative emotions. He's still doing the same, running away when he feels scared, thinks that he's not good enough, and just like SI he believes he was the only one in love and SI played with his feelings. He had to give up on Judo after Jaewon broke his arm, ran away from home and worked hard to pull himself together. However, he's full of contradictions- he says he wants to distance himself from Seo-In, but also admits he was always hopeful they'd meet again, becomes his manager and offers to have sex with him because of his jealousy, doesn't push him away most of the time because he still loves him. Jaewon's shadow in his imagination tells us his deepest desires and he's ashamed of them. Just like how Seo-In doesn't think anything of himself, YW also doesn't value his own worth. He also keeps thinking about Jaewon's words about him having no place in Seo-In's life because he's not good enough for him. </> I honestly believe the moment Seo-In learns about the incident from 10 years ago he will disown himself from his family. He will feel extremely guilty and YW might run away again to protect him. I'm afraid of the scene in ep1, I hope whatever happens to him won't be another deep-rooted trauma.
Ever since they slept together on the same bed and Seo-In realized Yeongwoon was also suffering in those 10 years. the colors have become so much brighter. It makes me think it's a sign their relationship will only improve from now on, because they have to face the same trauma as they did in the past but this time they might rely on each other. I honestly don't see the hyung as a real love rival, Yeongwoon only saw him as a father figure and he has no room in his heart for anyone other than Seo-In.
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And I really love the parallels, like YW running away twice after seeing the kiss, all their past moments that still affect them in the present. This is a story that truly makes sense after reading the second season, the creator did such a good job with revealing little clues about their past trauma. Seo-In believes that he's unworthy of being loved, that he's dirty, these are all feelings that were reinforced by his brother (who was likely a sociopath/psychopath), who took advantage of the fact that Seo-In's real parents were murderers. Seo-In even calls himself a whore in the present, he was groomed by Jaewon to be like him, all the while his identity was taken away from him (not celebrating his own birthday, getting the same clothes and haircut as Jaewon). YW was his only support system in a world devoid of real affection, so when he thought YW did not take his feelings seriously he started to spiral and became the person Jaewon wanted him to be. He's probably into bdsm with strangers because it gives him a sense of control that he never had in his life (and that's why he doesn't do it with YW, because with him he feels safe). I'm not excusing Seo-In's actions, but he possibly had no real chance to turn out differently from the emotional abuse he suffered his whole life. Now he knows YW has problems, he even asked him about the last 10 years, there's no way Seo-In will let go of him this time around.
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And Yeongwoon is also a very well-written character. He has his flaws like Seo-In and they also stem from his trauma. Unlike SI, YW was physically abused, resulting in him suppressing his negative emotions. He's still doing the same, running away when he feels scared, thinks that he's not good enough, and just like SI he believes he was the only one in love and SI played with his feelings. He had to give up on Judo after Jaewon broke his arm, ran away from home and worked hard to pull himself together. However, he's full of contradictions- he says he wants to distance himself from Seo-In, but also admits he was always hopeful they'd meet again, becomes his manager and offers to have sex with him because of his jealousy, doesn't push him away most of the time because he still loves him. Jaewon's shadow in his imagination tells us his deepest desires and he's ashamed of them. Just like how Seo-In doesn't think anything of himself, YW also doesn't value his own worth. He also keeps thinking about Jaewon's words about him having no place in Seo-In's life because he's not good enough for him.
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I honestly believe the moment Seo-In learns about the incident from 10 years ago he will disown himself from his family. He will feel extremely guilty and YW might run away again to protect him. I'm afraid of the scene in ep1, I hope whatever happens to him won't be another deep-rooted trauma.