TEA CONSENT MENTION! I showed my mom’s boyfriend awhile ago that video and he didn’t like it…totally unrelated he’s an ex now
People who don’t like it subconsciously acknowledge that they are assaulters. A good way to test people (who aren’t in the generation who got shown the video) is to ask them what they would do if someone asked for tea yesterday so you make them tea again today but now they say they don’t want it. It’s such an unassuming question but it’s so full of weight that the other person won’t realise. Like the man vs bear and the bear vs woman question.
That grandfather isn’t a responsible adult and shouldn’t be the guardian to a cactus let alone a human!
Also the assault wasn’t necessary. Once the reaction was different, he should have stopped or at least checked in to see if he was okay. Like I get how he got confused and why he started it but as soon as you notice something might not be right, you should stop. Even at the risk of ruining the fun, you should stop. I practice BDSM and part of my practices is CNC (consensual non consent) but you can still SA someone who enjoys CNC and it’s just as traumatic as someone who doesn’t enjoy CNC. Yes, we have safe words but sometimes our brain panics and we can’t get the safe words out or we are too quiet or the top forgets the safe words or whatever the issue is. That’s why it’s so so so important to always check even if it’s something super minor. As long as you notice it, you have a duty to check. You can do it in a sexy way or you can do it bluntly and make up the mood again but don’t ignore it for the sake of the mood or cause previous consent was given. Just like the British tea consent video (cause I’m a Brit), someone who previously asked for tea from you yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it may not want tea today and what you shouldn’t do is force it down their throat today. If you wouldn’t do it with tea then what gives you the notion that it would be okay for anything else?
Sorry for the rant but as a survivor of something similar, it pisses me off when media doesn’t acknowledge how damaging and harmful it is to have this kind of mentality that the top had.