Yes! And also, it’s an added pain, to feel like the past ML wasn’t even really real. Because a lot of things turned out to be lies, like liking grapes and stuff. And of course It’s nice that ML didn’t want to be rude, or to disappoint. But in retrospect it can hurt to find out he wasn’t really honest. And can make you think “what else did he lie about just to make me feel good?”
And actually that’s the thing that I find a bit painful in this chapter, that the more honest and “real” version of the ML is the one getting rejected. Of course, I don’t blame the MC in this situation, but it’s sad.
(And I don’t blame ML in the past, It’s usual kid stuff, to want to appear better for someone new, and even more, for your crush, and make white lies)
well said maem
I don’t find the white lies to be painful and MC didn’t either. The grapes lie hurt only cause he didn’t realise why he was lied to. He was lied to because his grandma did her best. He lied to protect grandmas heart. That was a beautiful reason to lie. Other things he “lied” about was because his lover liked them and he wanted to enjoy them with his lover. He did like them but he liked that his lover liked them. In a way, he didn’t fully lie. Both ML are the real ML. But only one of them was in love with MC and it’s not the new one.
What’s worse about all of this is that MC wasn’t actually ever given time to grieve the past ML. As soon as he found out about the accident, he rushed to the hospital and it wasn’t until ML woke up and couldn’t remember who he was that he lost past ML. In his mind, he lost him twice. Once when the accident happened and death was a possibility and the second time when the amnesia came to light. From that day on, he was standing by ML and helping him cope while dealing with his ailing grandma. He literally never got a single second to properly grieve and every single time he tried, ML got upset saying “BUT THATS NOT ME!” completely overlooking that that’s precisely why he’s grieving to begin with. It’s like falling in love with one twin and that twin dying and the other twin saying “how about me?”. It’s not the same no matter how much they look alike and sound alike. They aren’t the same person. He lost his grandma and his lover to basically the same condition and he alone is trapped by memories and the inability to grieve since he still has to face them both every single time and have a smile on his face since it’s “not their fault they can’t remember”. Everyone forgot that it’s not his fault either. He didn’t cause the accident or the Alzheimer. I’m glad they are separating for now. None of this was fair on him and he needs more than anything to grieve properly for both his grandma and his lover and to fully accept that they are gone and won’t be coming back again. They may still have their corporal bodies but they aren’t here anymore.
Anyone who is hating on MC for acting this way should be ashamed for judging a barely adult for struggling with something not a single one of us would have handle poorly let alone well. A lot of us wouldn’t have been able to survive this situation let alone somehow get through day by day. Give the kid some grace and cut him some slack.