I read the first 17 chapters and I have to stop, especially reading the spoilers in the co...

Bara Bitch May 18, 2025 7:09 am

I read the first 17 chapters and I have to stop, especially reading the spoilers in the comments. This is not like the other manhwas where we have an uke that falls in love with a toxic rapist seme. This is much worse than that.

I think if we reframe it, not as a dark romance, but rather as a story of domestic violence it makes more sense. Just like how children coming from households where the father beat the mother tend to form the same relationships with their spouses as adults. Hence perpetuating the cycle of abuse. (Obviously this is not always the case).

So, just like a wife who is in love with her husband and endures his beatings, so too is the uke doing this with his crush. Holding on to who they used to be in the past, and past kindness to just endure it. There’s no sense of self esteem or self worth - all this pain is worth it if it brings him emotionally closer to his crush.

So he keeps focussing on the feelings of the crush, while diminishing his own pain, both physical and emotional.

Also, his coercive sex and rape with the other friend in the first few chapters. He first does it so the friend won’t tell the crush, but the friend ends up telling the crush anyway. And when the friend rapes him, he just accepts it and tells him to get on with it and get out. He has no regard for his own body, and how he is being violated.

What also struck me how he was beaten half to death in middle school, but totally accepted it afterwards while eating chocolate and having his wounds treated. And agreeing to slave-like commands. Putting up with the most egregious abuse just for tiny slivers of kindness. Forgiving the most horrific people who inflict immense harm with the hope of getting closer to them. And not questioning if they were even worth getting close to in the first place.

And yeah. As usual, the most handsome and attractive men get away with the most horrific things in manhwa.

So yeah. This is not a romance but a tragedy. And porn. And torture porn. And an exercise in misery. And seeing just how much a financially and emotionally vulnerable person is forced to endure when they are starved of kindness and stability.

I guess it’s worth reading if you can stomach it, but it’s hard for me to read stories without some sort of payoff. Where the bad guy gets a punishment commensurate with his wrongdoings. So, for example, I can stomach rape if, later, the rapist is also raped. But I don’t think manhwas are brave enough to depict this. Because semes are not allowed to be violated and tortured. Only ukes.

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