Revise the ending.

chere100 May 19, 2025 6:45 pm

I don't like the ending, and yes I do have an alternative ending in mind. I was actually typing it, but accidentally navigated away. I don't feel like retyping all of that, so instead of getting all the detail plus the sides I wrote, you get a TL/DR (sorry).
Zin successfully sends Idris away from the palace unnoticed, Zin reports back everyone is dead, Zin and Idris have reunion at Bellet Mansion, blah blah, embrace as sun rises, roll credits on main story.
Side summaries. Side1: Idris is recovering, Zin seeks disguise for Idris, princess wants to talk about coronation/marriage. Side2: Princess and Zin get married, Zin escapes after wedding and returns to longer haired BLONDE Idris (the invention of hair dye), Zin makes Idris the new head of the Bellet guards and gives Idris a new name. Side3: Empress (formerly princess) sends people to bring Zin who has been avoiding her, they finally have the heir talk. Zin balks, Idris reassures. Empress and Zin arrange baby making schedule. Side4: Empress and Zin's baby is born with blonde hair and purple eyes, they name him Klyne. Stuff with Idris, such as talking about baby, physical intimacy with eachother, yada yada. Side5: Couple years pass, Zin is reading letter from disabled former Idris squire, the guy used the money Zin was sending him to study and has opened an apothecary where his sister sells the medicine he makes. Butler comes in, reports Zin's brother has had a baby with his wife, Zin orders to prepare congratulatory letter/gift and also notes that the marquisdom should probably be left to his brother's children as his son shall be inheriting the kingdom. Zin prepares for day out with son plus Idris. Story should end with happy family feels (also, Idris smiles). The End.

Responses
    Greenhouse May 20, 2025 1:58 pm

    Sorry but can you elaborate the baby making schedule?

    Greenhouse May 20, 2025 2:00 pm
    Sorry but can you elaborate the baby making schedule? Greenhouse

    You mean they arrange a random baby or should have a baby together? If so, then I would say I’m not a big fan of that even it’s for formality.

    Greenhouse May 20, 2025 2:04 pm
    You mean they arrange a random baby or should have a baby together? If so, then I would say I’m not a big fan of that even it’s for formality. Greenhouse

    also, to do that do you mean by intercourse or artificial insemination? I hope it’s not copulation though.

    chere100 May 23, 2025 8:56 pm
    also, to do that do you mean by intercourse or artificial insemination? I hope it’s not copulation though. Greenhouse

    Baby making can only mean having a baby together, I think that's obvious. Also, this story has a medieval type setting, so it's unlikely to be artificial insemination, and I'm not the type to shy away from uncomfortable things. That being said, I never planned to go over the how they make the baby or show anything, so you could headcannon anything you like for how they made it.
    Anywho, I like GOOD endings. Good doesn't equal perfectly happy. The author actually introduced a plot hole just for their have a cake and eat it too ending. The only other good ending that could exist for this story is an outright tragic one, and I don't like tragedies.

    Greenhouse May 24, 2025 6:02 am

    I mean the medieval method that’s equivalent to that (eg. Injecting sperm with a syringe, still not possible yeah). I just can’t accept they’ll have a baby together by physical connection or not. whether that scene will be shown or not. Plus, I’m an Antinatalism so I don’t want them to have a child only for the convenience, instead of love. Idris won’t properly be presented and fulfil the role of a father either. for me, I would prefer having them adopt an orphan kid that looks similar to both of them and try to conceal his background.

    Greenhouse May 24, 2025 6:02 am

    I’m an anti-natalist*

    Greenhouse May 24, 2025 6:04 am

    I agree that the ending is good but not perfect.