I really liked how I was genuinely surprised at not knowing who the love interest would be at first and instead, the story unfolded.
I think there could be a lot of complaints, but honestly I love how realistic this is. I think Seunghee's nihilism is something a lot of lgbtq+ youth feel, especially for the kids who realized that they were gay at a young age and wanted to be active in queer spaces. Like many young kids, he came out to his family at a young age not fully taking in the factor that his family would reject him and isolate him. That's why he joined online platforms because he wanted more people like him, even if it gave him access to predators. He also isolated himself from everyone around him because he didn't want to be judged for being gay and he saw no point in making friends.
I drive this point home because SO many queer people feel this way. It's so painfully relatable especially in the digital age. That's why (unfortunately) the groomer made a great point to Seunghee. If Seunghee was going to close every single possible opportunity, he is going to miss out on something good happening. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If he believes that he's never going to find someone through normal means and he'll die alone if he doesn't date online, then because he believes this he doesn't make friends and ignores everyone around him. Then, when he can't date boys his age, he blames it on the fact that he's right, when in reality it's because he didn't make any effort to have friends or even get to know anyone around him.
And though Seunghee annoyed me, his frustration in the story was also real. This couple, Seungtaek and Kyubin, got together but they didn't even struggle the way Seunghee did. They didn't have to be the gay kid who came out to his family and searched through online queer chats. They didn't put the label of gay on themselves and had to do the community searching Seunghee did. As a lesbian, that's why I believe that queer culture does exist. Of course, because free will exists, if you are lgbtq+ you don't have to participate in queer culture, but many do and their experiences will be different than if you choose not to participate. That is why many different queer stories exist, and Seunghee was simply experiencing being gay different from Seungtaek and Kyubin because Seunghee chose to search online for his community.
Enough of Seunghee, I also did enjoy the love story of Seungtaek and Kyubin very much. When the past was revealed, I was gagged. I think they were an amazing side couple and I actually liked that for the first half of this, they got spotlight as the main couple. They had a compelling love story and it was very sweet. And I think that Seunghee being a spectator was not only unique and funny, but a great way to tie back in the title. They got together and it was like Seunghee was literally seeing a BL happen to his face, but he wasn't living it. Not much else to say, just that I really enjoyed them together and I love their happy ending.
The weird groomer guy, well I hated him for being a groomer obvious. I will only give him 3 things worthy of noting. 1) He actually gave good advice to Seunghee. Again, that advice that Seunghee shouldn't be so uptight and don't be so rejecting of young romance. 2) He continued to push Seunghee to get to make friends and told him to make memories. That was very sweet. 3) He stopped (hopefully) preying on kids because that 30 year old baddie confessed to him and they ended up together. My middle-aged (???) yaoi agenda is thriving.
I like the redemption of Inbeom. He was definitely wrong in the past and his actions are not justified at all. But I can say that I'm glad he and Seunghee became friends, honest friends in the end. I think they both needed a friend to rely on.
Suhyeok was a welcome surprise. I think he looked so shady at first, but honestly when his POV dropped and we saw all the times he wanted to step in with Seunghee but didn't. It made me realize how much he was involved in the story. Him growing closer was awkward on them, but I liked how he kept trying anyways. He was genuine in his feelings for Seunghee and it was great that he was grounding him.
Overall, I love this story and instead of sleeping I read it. I think it perfectly captures the young queer experience. It's can be painful, hopeful, inspiring, sad, frustrating, euphoric, and even regretful. Life is just like that, but especially for gay young men, it is even more so clouded by what society expects from men that makes a lot of gay men depressed. The queer experience is always explained as painful and while that is true and has been true for a long time in history, BUT take this away. In the end, as long as you keep pursing happiness, you will be able to find it. It is absolutely possible to lead a great and happy life as a queer person, even with so many obstacles in our way. If you can't find someone who wants to date you, focus on friends and family. If you don't have friends and families, go outside and actively seek a community. This can be about being queer or just random interests and hobbies like reading or sports. I just think you shouldn't be alone. A life of isolation, afraid of rejection, will literally kill you. It's proven in science too. I just think as social creatures, we should be around others. It is not impossible and there is always hope. Romance isn't the end all be all. You just need a community around you no matter what. It can be one person, it can be a small group, or it can be hundreds of people. Just don't try to isolate yourself, it will do you no good.
If you read this just know from an other queer person, life is worth living. Fear is valid to have, but in the end this is our first and last life. Live a life you won't regret living. We only have one shot. Societal expectations are hard to deal with, but I think if you didn't enjoy life because of societal expectations, I think that would be very sad. Because this world is hard to live in, but not impossible. Millions of billions of people have lived here before you and I, and they managed to live for us to be alive. This world can be cruel sometimes, that is why it gives us grace other times. All hope will never be lost, please remember that.
I really liked how I was genuinely surprised at not knowing who the love interest would be at first and instead, the story unfolded.
I think there could be a lot of complaints, but honestly I love how realistic this is. I think Seunghee's nihilism is something a lot of lgbtq+ youth feel, especially for the kids who realized that they were gay at a young age and wanted to be active in queer spaces. Like many young kids, he came out to his family at a young age not fully taking in the factor that his family would reject him and isolate him. That's why he joined online platforms because he wanted more people like him, even if it gave him access to predators. He also isolated himself from everyone around him because he didn't want to be judged for being gay and he saw no point in making friends.
I drive this point home because SO many queer people feel this way. It's so painfully relatable especially in the digital age. That's why (unfortunately) the groomer made a great point to Seunghee. If Seunghee was going to close every single possible opportunity, he is going to miss out on something good happening. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If he believes that he's never going to find someone through normal means and he'll die alone if he doesn't date online, then because he believes this he doesn't make friends and ignores everyone around him. Then, when he can't date boys his age, he blames it on the fact that he's right, when in reality it's because he didn't make any effort to have friends or even get to know anyone around him.
And though Seunghee annoyed me, his frustration in the story was also real. This couple, Seungtaek and Kyubin, got together but they didn't even struggle the way Seunghee did. They didn't have to be the gay kid who came out to his family and searched through online queer chats. They didn't put the label of gay on themselves and had to do the community searching Seunghee did. As a lesbian, that's why I believe that queer culture does exist. Of course, because free will exists, if you are lgbtq+ you don't have to participate in queer culture, but many do and their experiences will be different than if you choose not to participate. That is why many different queer stories exist, and Seunghee was simply experiencing being gay different from Seungtaek and Kyubin because Seunghee chose to search online for his community.
Enough of Seunghee, I also did enjoy the love story of Seungtaek and Kyubin very much. When the past was revealed, I was gagged. I think they were an amazing side couple and I actually liked that for the first half of this, they got spotlight as the main couple. They had a compelling love story and it was very sweet. And I think that Seunghee being a spectator was not only unique and funny, but a great way to tie back in the title. They got together and it was like Seunghee was literally seeing a BL happen to his face, but he wasn't living it. Not much else to say, just that I really enjoyed them together and I love their happy ending.
The weird groomer guy, well I hated him for being a groomer obvious. I will only give him 3 things worthy of noting. 1) He actually gave good advice to Seunghee. Again, that advice that Seunghee shouldn't be so uptight and don't be so rejecting of young romance. 2) He continued to push Seunghee to get to make friends and told him to make memories. That was very sweet. 3) He stopped (hopefully) preying on kids because that 30 year old baddie confessed to him and they ended up together. My middle-aged (???) yaoi agenda is thriving.
I like the redemption of Inbeom. He was definitely wrong in the past and his actions are not justified at all. But I can say that I'm glad he and Seunghee became friends, honest friends in the end. I think they both needed a friend to rely on.
Suhyeok was a welcome surprise. I think he looked so shady at first, but honestly when his POV dropped and we saw all the times he wanted to step in with Seunghee but didn't. It made me realize how much he was involved in the story. Him growing closer was awkward on them, but I liked how he kept trying anyways. He was genuine in his feelings for Seunghee and it was great that he was grounding him.
Overall, I love this story and instead of sleeping I read it. I think it perfectly captures the young queer experience. It's can be painful, hopeful, inspiring, sad, frustrating, euphoric, and even regretful. Life is just like that, but especially for gay young men, it is even more so clouded by what society expects from men that makes a lot of gay men depressed. The queer experience is always explained as painful and while that is true and has been true for a long time in history, BUT take this away. In the end, as long as you keep pursing happiness, you will be able to find it. It is absolutely possible to lead a great and happy life as a queer person, even with so many obstacles in our way. If you can't find someone who wants to date you, focus on friends and family. If you don't have friends and families, go outside and actively seek a community. This can be about being queer or just random interests and hobbies like reading or sports. I just think you shouldn't be alone. A life of isolation, afraid of rejection, will literally kill you. It's proven in science too. I just think as social creatures, we should be around others. It is not impossible and there is always hope. Romance isn't the end all be all. You just need a community around you no matter what. It can be one person, it can be a small group, or it can be hundreds of people. Just don't try to isolate yourself, it will do you no good.
If you read this just know from an other queer person, life is worth living. Fear is valid to have, but in the end this is our first and last life. Live a life you won't regret living. We only have one shot. Societal expectations are hard to deal with, but I think if you didn't enjoy life because of societal expectations, I think that would be very sad. Because this world is hard to live in, but not impossible. Millions of billions of people have lived here before you and I, and they managed to live for us to be alive. This world can be cruel sometimes, that is why it gives us grace other times. All hope will never be lost, please remember that.