you're raised in a particular environment - one restricting your freedom yet one you feel obligatory gratitude towards, because you know your life couldve been "so much more worse". you're used as a political pawn, arranged into a marriage with a toxic, abusive, psychotic partner.
suddenly you no longer need to marry him anymore - the enemy prince has brutally claimed you, should you feel thankful? disgusted? scared? surely there are worse things that could happen, and hey, this is only temporary! the mark will eventually be removed... and it'll be back to resigning to your fate as a political pawn.
you know that freedom is unattainable in this life, there's no use fighting.
suddenly you're overcome with a sense of care and affection for this captive that had forced himself upon you. you don't know why but you care for him, is it caused by the mark? everyone - the doctors have said so. surely this is just the influence of the mark. even so, you don't want them to kill that pitiful man.
your forced companionship with the captive is coming to an end. even though its only been two months, you're conflicted by the affection and gratitude you feel for this man. he saved you, protected you. even though you know it must have been from the mark, you can't help but crave the thought of genuine love and kindness. almost as if it tastes like that freedom that you've been wishing for since the start of time.
all of a sudden you hear that your brother has decided to kill that man, and the child growing in your womb that you were entirely oblivious to. a child borne between enemy nations, conceived only because of your father once again using you as a political pawn... and yet now being aborted, by the brother you so trusted, under the guise of 'preserving your happiness'. you don't want your precious child to be used and put through suffering like you were.
war rages on the land that raised you. it's conflicting, this is where you were raised, where you lived with the brother that doted on you. with the man you called father. this place is all you've ever known. this was your whole world. sure, it suffocated you, but for so long, you have been attached to it. been dependent on it.
but perhaps this is your chance at freedom. perhaps you can finally reach it, despite still being caged within the bounds of this kingdom. but the universe is too cruel. that man that waged war on your kingdom, who you thought you had reluctantly bid farewell to, has come to take you back. why will no one leave you alone? will no one let you be free? can you ever be really free?
worse yet, that child, your child, they're still alive. life could be so cruel.
yet again confined within walls, you pretend this a freedom you had wished for. hey, you're receiving that affection and kindness that you had longed for from this man you bonded with! yet you know, still, this is all false, it's all a lie. these feelings are not genuine, they stem from the bond.
that's why you won't fall any further. you don't want to be caged once again, by a life of false freedom.
and yet, this child, your child, half your blood and half the enemy's, how could you live knowing how others will perceive them? how can you live alongside them, knowing you can't protect them? you couldn't bear to witness that. in order for your child to live a happy life... a free life, no one must know who birthed them. even though it pains you so. but you would do anything for your child.
so you make that man promise you, promise, that the child will be protected. that even in death you will be set free. you can only hope he will grant your wishes -- trust that the love and compassion he has shown you in these past few months was genuine.
but when you wake up, those you have known all your life, they are gone. your brother is suffering, and yet you can do nothing about it. that man you bonded with is now king, and yet the generations of hatred festering in his subjects deny him the ability to help you in protecting the only family member you have left. your only kin.
but wait your child, your child is your kin too. but you cannot bear to see him, else you will no longer be able to leave. and surely, sooner or later, the people will find out about you and connect the dots. your child's happiness would be threatened if you stayed here any longer.
that man even confessed his love to you, but you don't believe it. he's the enemy. the enemy that has hated his blood for generations. its surely the mark. how could one fall in love in this kind of situation? it must not be real.
nothing is real. you want to get away. away from it all, hide yourself away from the world, seclude yourself along with the little family you have left. protect the little peace you have. surely, that man can grant this much?
then maybe, just maybe, this piercing guilt, this smothering apathy, it will all go away once you leave. maybe it will all have just been one big nightmare.
you're raised in a particular environment - one restricting your freedom yet one you feel obligatory gratitude towards, because you know your life couldve been "so much more worse". you're used as a political pawn, arranged into a marriage with a toxic, abusive, psychotic partner.
suddenly you no longer need to marry him anymore - the enemy prince has brutally claimed you, should you feel thankful? disgusted? scared? surely there are worse things that could happen, and hey, this is only temporary! the mark will eventually be removed... and it'll be back to resigning to your fate as a political pawn.
you know that freedom is unattainable in this life, there's no use fighting.
suddenly you're overcome with a sense of care and affection for this captive that had forced himself upon you. you don't know why but you care for him, is it caused by the mark? everyone - the doctors have said so. surely this is just the influence of the mark. even so, you don't want them to kill that pitiful man.
your forced companionship with the captive is coming to an end. even though its only been two months, you're conflicted by the affection and gratitude you feel for this man. he saved you, protected you. even though you know it must have been from the mark, you can't help but crave the thought of genuine love and kindness. almost as if it tastes like that freedom that you've been wishing for since the start of time.
all of a sudden you hear that your brother has decided to kill that man, and the child growing in your womb that you were entirely oblivious to. a child borne between enemy nations, conceived only because of your father once again using you as a political pawn... and yet now being aborted, by the brother you so trusted, under the guise of 'preserving your happiness'. you don't want your precious child to be used and put through suffering like you were.
war rages on the land that raised you. it's conflicting, this is where you were raised, where you lived with the brother that doted on you. with the man you called father. this place is all you've ever known. this was your whole world. sure, it suffocated you, but for so long, you have been attached to it. been dependent on it.
but perhaps this is your chance at freedom. perhaps you can finally reach it, despite still being caged within the bounds of this kingdom. but the universe is too cruel. that man that waged war on your kingdom, who you thought you had reluctantly bid farewell to, has come to take you back. why will no one leave you alone? will no one let you be free? can you ever be really free?
worse yet, that child, your child, they're still alive. life could be so cruel.
yet again confined within walls, you pretend this a freedom you had wished for. hey, you're receiving that affection and kindness that you had longed for from this man you bonded with! yet you know, still, this is all false, it's all a lie. these feelings are not genuine, they stem from the bond.
that's why you won't fall any further. you don't want to be caged once again, by a life of false freedom.
and yet, this child, your child, half your blood and half the enemy's, how could you live knowing how others will perceive them? how can you live alongside them, knowing you can't protect them? you couldn't bear to witness that. in order for your child to live a happy life... a free life, no one must know who birthed them. even though it pains you so. but you would do anything for your child.
so you make that man promise you, promise, that the child will be protected. that even in death you will be set free. you can only hope he will grant your wishes -- trust that the love and compassion he has shown you in these past few months was genuine.
but when you wake up, those you have known all your life, they are gone. your brother is suffering, and yet you can do nothing about it. that man you bonded with is now king, and yet the generations of hatred festering in his subjects deny him the ability to help you in protecting the only family member you have left. your only kin.
but wait your child, your child is your kin too. but you cannot bear to see him, else you will no longer be able to leave. and surely, sooner or later, the people will find out about you and connect the dots. your child's happiness would be threatened if you stayed here any longer.
that man even confessed his love to you, but you don't believe it. he's the enemy. the enemy that has hated his blood for generations. its surely the mark. how could one fall in love in this kind of situation? it must not be real.
nothing is real. you want to get away. away from it all, hide yourself away from the world, seclude yourself along with the little family you have left. protect the little peace you have. surely, that man can grant this much?
then maybe, just maybe, this piercing guilt, this smothering apathy, it will all go away once you leave. maybe it will all have just been one big nightmare.