It stumps me why he doesn't say anything.... wouldn't that help keep Lerushab by his side?!?
He doesn’t want that for him. He wants to set him free and live a normal life, which is something mc doesn’t think he could bring if he stayed by his side.
What I got it is this is that Alexei doesn't want him to leave AT ALL. Art this point ( up to where I've read) 18. He hasn't told him, letting the kid hate him. He finally made up his mind to let him go at this stage but he's keeping him by his side until, at a minimum, to not get involved with Vinter. But he kept digging himself into a hole at this point to keep Lerusha around. The problem is, he Didn't tell Lerusha why he had beaten him up and left him for dead at all. I'll have to reread that chapter when he said he couldn't tell him why. But all the while while he wants freedom and a better life for Lerusha, he had NEVER once let him go.... Currently and before, he did this to save the kid, but until now, he HADN'T told the kid. I want taking about now. I was talking about right after the event and all the way to the current time....
He could've let the kid leave WAYYY before this Vintner issue. Is what I've been to get at.... He's 21 now. Not a kid anymore...he could've let him go at ANY moment in time. He did NOT. Only after this time after he's finally made up his mind, he had to protect him again by not letting him go .... But just manipulated him some more....I suppose the danger haven't passed yet so maybe h that's why he lied about the relationship but how much is willing and needing to protect him and how much is he willing to let go AFTER this is all said and done.
But, I'm assuming, at some point he will be able to kill off his boss n gang and frer them both from this life. Question is how MUCH had he been willing to let Lerusha go?!? I wonder why, regardless of his talent, he has chosen to be by Alexei's side, regardless of knowing the truth. He has the potential to become a world renowned ballerina....so even when he didn't tell him. He had still stayed. Unless it was Alexei's doing that had bound him there in the first place.... I'm getting conflicting feelings & messages from the both of them.
ooo u got a point there. Both of them have extremely conflicting emotions. Perhaps mc WANTS to let him go, but can’t and gives himself excuses which leads him to make a series of rash decisions that he can’t turn back from. Same w ml, he WANTS to leave and hates him, but can’t bcs deep down, he still loves his brother.
Yes i agree the MC believed all his life to make it his will to protect the youngest it was his soul purpose that grew to more in his darkness also the moment u discribed i do agree he would rather be hated if it meant shielding him from Igors gaze cus he knew what happened if igor noticed he cared for someone
my understanding was the that he wanted to leave but didn't want to be funded by corrupt money that would also tie them together. Bc him seeing and wanting to leave with V was supposed to be a secret.
I'm not sure what you meant by money that would tie them together. Valerie could have left a long time ago as well. Alexei didn't expect Valerie to stay after he'd beaten him nearly to death and "left him for dead". Up to this point, he has been living with Alexei's money. He didn't take the ballet opportunities that would have taken him far away from Alexei, due to what he had said was "he didn't want to further burden Alexei (monetarily)". What Valerie said was, "I don't want your filthy money", as you have said, but he also had said "I will pay you back EVERY penny". So not just severing ties in the sense of just leaving and using "the cop's" money, but "to pay the debt back in full", so in THAT sense, it's severance of ties, but "leaving alone" through some one else's money - that's just cuz he doesn't have money & neither does Alexei. And mind you it's supposed to be clean money but who knows. Anyways, he's selling his ass, he's not just traveling the world. Maybe he is, idk. From Valerie's p.o.v. 1) he doesn't know that Alexei was about to let him go. 2). He wants money because apparently he doesn't have any of his own? Not enough as a performer? Or was he still just a student? Don't want to start out scraping the bottom of the barrel like anyone else who's had to?!! How POOR is he?!?
Valerie's relationship might be true love w/ Lianne. Idk if it is, bcz during Alexei's interrogation of him it didn't seem to imply that he is, or maybe not love, but affection?!? And yes, he doesn't know Alexei was going to kill off Igor and his gang so that he could free them both. For sure the only thing we know (from his internal monologue) is that he 1) wants to leave this place, not just due to the filthy money but Alexei's unchanging ways. 2) according to him he needs money to do it. Sounds like he's just starting from the bottom of the barrel and needs money more than love?!? And supposedly Lianne is much more wealthy than Alexei?!? Idk. But from what I can see he's in need of more money than what will allow them both to live a better life on Alexei's share. But true, you are also right about the money that he doesn't want from Alexei. But for whatever's reason, he did say (internal monologue) that he wants "money and that he wants to get out of here". So that to me indicates Alexei doesn't make enough. Idk. That's true, for a long time now Valerie hasn't smiled at Alexei like he used to. Most of the chapters I've read so far (I'm only up to 18) they're just all scowling at each other....well, mostly Valerie. Like, he scowled enough but couldn't leave and strike it out on his own?!?
I think I understand why mc is not telling ml why he beat him up when he was a kid. As frustrating as it is to not clear up sm misunderstandings, I think he feels like he deserves to be hated by ml. I think it’s like “I did a horrible thing, even though it was for his own good, I’m trash, so why should I be even given a chance of forgiveness?”