Update me when she's back

Why would it mean she doesn't love him at all??? I can't follow that logic

I'm genuinely so confused. Why would she want to disappear forever if they were getting along well? And he was in so much pain after she died which means she does not gaf about his feelings at all. Unless there is some other plot i don't know about that happened during the time i stopped reading this. Please help me understand what in the world happened im so confused

She wants to disappear forever because the human mind was NOT made to withstand 28 lives' worth of memories and torment. Think of it like having incurable depression-- no matter how long she lived and tried to reconcile her past, each new life would continue to drain her forever more. Not just because she's suffered incomprehensibly in all of those lives, but also because she's human, and has her limits. Her love for Beelzebuth was nice and sincere, sure, and the best thing to have happened to her in a long while... but unfortunately no amount of love could actually "cure" her once and for all (by which I mean, achieving mental tranquility), since even erasing memories couldn't protect her fully.

So, her choices were to either continue reincarnating forever, progressively getting worse as her mind had more and more to take on... or she could disappear forever, freeing herself from this endless cicle. Those were the only choices given to her.

It's not that Vanessa didn't love Beelzebub, or didn't care about his feelings; but Beelzebub himself ultimately came to terms with the fact her happiness was paramount first and foremost – and she wouldn't ever get to achieve true happiness if she kept reincarnating. So, she chose herself, both because she trusted his judgement and bc she didn't want to deny herself the freedom. Their love was great, and changed many great things for the both of them – so her decision to "go" was ultimately an act of love, too. Like Beelzebub says, she will still be his first and only love, as he would keep her alive in his memories... And Vanessa would, for the first time, be ending one of her lives on a high note (￣▽￣")


In the end, however (I'm unsure whether you read only chapter 96 or 97 as well)– her soul does get saved, instead of being completely annihilated like they had thought to be their only option. She still dies, though... but she gets to start a new life from scratch, with no lives upon lives weighting her down and wearing her out. And Beelzebub watches over her in this life, too (even though now, she doesn't know who he is... yet. But the manhwa and novel take different approaches on this so I'll cut myself here).

On a more personal note, I'm not sure why she had to IMMEDIATELY get disintegrated in that scene. I thought it'd be better if they got at least some more time just doing new things and going on dates or whatever, before she got pulverized.

But the choice itself for her to leave for good, rather than stay and just suffer forever, still makes sense.

That makes sense thanks for the explanation! I still don't get why she had to disappear like that, she could have completed that life at the very least. The ending I was expecting was the male lead becoming a mortal for good, but even if he didn't they would be able to live together forever if she kept reincarnating so isn't that a positive thing for them? I still think that it was wrong of her to choose death to free herself from the pain and torment. Even though it's unfortunate, disappearing can never be a way "to choose herself". How is that a happy ending for her, even if not for him? Wouldn't it be better for her to overcome that depression? And she's going to die in this new life again anyways so that leaves him mourning for her forever, all alone

It's because keeping her memories would make it impossible for her to overcome that suffering; that's why no one else keeps their memories even though souls do reincarnate occasionally (in this universe I mean). It's a human constitution thing; the mind is physically (and emotionally) incapable of withstand it. So that's why this is freedom for her soul, and her happy ending -- not exactly the *disappearing forever* part, but the part where she no longer has to keep suffering through something she was never capable of handling in the first place.

Now (post chapter 97), Vanessa is probably going to keep reincarnating, but normally this time, without keeping any memories – and Beelzebub can always come find her. It's a bit sad that she'll never have the same knowledge as him about what they've gone through together, but it's the best way for a human to be with a Demon such as him if neither of them can change their constitution for the sake of the other (like Vanessa becoming "a demon" or another equally long-lived being, or Beelzebub himself becoming human).

Ah sweet! So now she's gonna keep reincarnating but without any memories of the past lives. That's more valid but my heart is a little heavy (actually VERY) every time I think about their farewell scene Her believing she will cease to exist, him sending her off and both of them separating helplessly knowing that's the last time they will see each other. I am a HATER of these types of tragic endings. I'll go cry in a corner until I forget this manhwa ever existed. I'll never forget the terrible experience reading the last two chapters