Unfortunately this is a very common occurrence/misconception for bisexual people, not just in Japan but America and elsewhere, it’s simply biphobia. Unfortunately bi people tend to get the shorter end of the stick regardless of the gender/sexual orientation of the person they are dating. A lot of gay man don’t want to date bi men out of fear that they will cheat with a woman and women don’t want to date bi guys bc they think they’re just one stop short of “gay town”. Same can be said about lesbians not dating bi women. Ultimately it perpetuates the idea that one can’t be attracted to two or more genders. And for some reason bi people have been branded as cheaters due to their sexuality (even tho straight people are arguably the biggest cheater group) and yes you would think within the LGBTQ+ community there would be more nuanced understanding but unfortunately a lot of the times that’s not the case. But this definitely is not a Japan thing it’s everywhere.
I see
I'm really not in a lot of queer spaces, I've just been living life as I do, so my understanding of queer happenings and culture may be a little lacking. Thank you!!!
Mmm you were so close to understanding his perspective. You said it yourself, Japan is a conservative country. So while there are many many mannyy bisexuals - actually all across the globe - when you exist in a system that rewards one type of relationship over the other, a lot of people in Japan would chose the “easier” option. Get a wife. Get approval from your family. Have a kid and typical family unit. He doesn’t have to struggle socially or be discriminated against at work or not get officially married or have to go through the adoption process while he’s in a straight-presenting relationship. And that is the reality for a lot of people. It’s sad, because I’m sure many of these bisexual men and women would have found fulfillment in same-sex relationships but societal pressure is a hard thing to ask someone to ignore. ESPECIALLY in a high-pressure conforming society like Japan. I think it’s semi-insensitive for people to not consider these aspects and just label it as biphobia from gay individuals who are openly out and have completely accepted all consequences from not fitting into the norm. They don’t get that choice. There is no “easier” option for them. It’s a very real and very valid fear that stems from repetitive experiences- that is why you see it come up so often in stories.
Mmm you were so close to understanding his perspective. You said it yourself, Japan is a conservative country. So while there are many many mannyy bisexuals - actually all across the globe - when you exist in a system that rewards one type of relationship over the other, a lot of people in Japan would chose the “easier” option. Get a wife. Get approval from your family. Have a kid and typical family unit. He doesn’t have to struggle socially or be discriminated against at work or not get officially married or have to go through the adoption process while he’s in a straight-presenting relationship. And that is the reality for a lot of people. It’s sad, because I’m sure many of these bisexual men and women would have found fulfillment in same-sex relationships but societal pressure is a hard thing to ask someone to ignore. ESPECIALLY in a high-pressure conforming society like Japan.
I don’t think it’s that simple although biphobia is definitely very real. It’s not the thought process that his partner was going to cheat, but instead leave him and choose a more convenient lifestyle. There is a lot of societal pressure from family, friends, and work colleagues that everyone faces but it is especially hard on gay people. And if you could fall in love with anyone, why choose the option with MORE discrimination? That is a very real and valid fear to have. Even if he loves his partner, there is the fear for gay people that they may not win against a life filled without extra hardships. Of course, there are many bisexuals that do follow their hearts and fully accept they will no longer live by the “standard” and will face difficulties with their partners. But there are also many that will feel the weight of a gay reality (being disowned by family, being fired, friends abandoning them, not being able to get legally married in Japan, or having difficulties trying to adopt) and opt out of it due to the opinions of others, even if that means they don’t stay with who they love. And you can’t blame them entirely - we’re all human and are trying to live happily. But the fear that a bisexual partner may choose to live an easier life is not biphobia. It’s an insecurity, but that’s not an inherent hatred for bisexuality.
ohh gng ty
makes sense
I feel like
this may just be the intricacies of queer culture in a conservative country like Japan
but it just PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF when they're all like "ohhhh u could leave me for a girl at any time" LIKE NO HE WOULDN'T AND IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT HE THOUGHT HE WAS STRAIGHT BEFORE
IT'S THE FACT THAT HE LOVES YOU AND IS LOYAL
attributing cheating to the fact that he thought he was straight is so hetero-compliant, and it implies that he, as a bisexual person, is simply a deviated straight person. which he isn't!!!! he is a bisexual man and that is okay and they can exist and he is about as likely to leave you for another man as woman which is very very improbable because he's loyal!!!!!!
like it implies that despite the fact that he's in a relationship, he will someday fall into his 'nature' as a human male which is to love a female
which is just not chilling and not true and you really should just trust your partner
and again maybe it's the context of the place they're in and the culture surrounding queerness in japan but you'd think the gay regular of a gay bar where the bartender is a gay drag queen WOULD HAVE A LITTLE MORE NUANCE ლ(´ڡ`ლ)