this took forever to write

to any new readers scrolling through the comments, TURN BACK NOW. don't read the comments that's how i got spoiled :( whatever doubts you have about reading this, throw them away. dive right into this right now it is SOOO GOOD.

season 2 (pt 1) was honestly so incredible. i scrolled back and saw some people complaining about the amount of backstories but honestly i don't mind them at all. i think they added a lot to the story and the plot. and frankly i think that this story is inherently tied to the past. if there was nothing tied to the past this story would be so boring, i'm sorry. the tattoo is not the main plot of the story, rather it is a device used to show the tensions within the zhou family culminating over thousands of years. its about how the effects of power and your own mistakes continue to warp you and the others around you well into the present. the story is ultimately about the zhou family and how their practices continue to wreck havoc on the mcs, INCLUDING the side characters. this is inherently tied to the past, there is simply no way for the author to get around it, a story revolving around the past is THE story the author wanted to tell.

also can i just say, i love the sheer amount of symbolism in this story. each heir-guardian seems to have something that symbolizes their relationship or a core moment of their life. it makes it very easy for understanding the characters and adds to character design by associating them with certain symbols. for fu rin it was the moment with the car door, where she has to choose between living life for her own joy for the first time, or choosing the path of "joy" as a guardian instead. for yajin it was the door and the clocks, where he's been so neglected and traumatized from his time alone that he constantly obsesses over mali potentially never coming back. i find it ironic that yajin says mali has some sort of ocd, when he himself also has something along those lines, which i would argue is even more destructive than mali's habits. for chen it is the candle which symbolizes the pact between an heir and guardian. the fact that alex chose chen of his own volition is honestly so sweet and adorable, and the candle works so well as a symbol of that. rather than their pact ceremony being in a dimly lit room, its outside with just an ordinary birthday candle. it just shows how in spite of how the story vilified them so far, they're actually just sweet ordinary guys. we all collectively agree that they're absolutely together right? because that candle scene was gayer than gay sex. completely unrelated, they remind me of josh and angel from the dirtiest high, my babiessss.

as for lian and wei, damn i expected this from lian. but i had no idea wei would be THIS involved. i feel so vindicated for being suspicious of her though. i am quite curious about what their symbols would be. for lian i'm guessing it would be a lotus, who knows what it would be for wei. maybe something related to the taxidermy animals? i still don't think lian is entirely a villain though, i think she cares too much about xin to outright want to murder him. maybe she's doing this on the head family's orders?

i love how this season focused more on the flaws of xin and lau. lau especially is far more vulnerable. for a guy who claims to be oh so tough and emotionless, he's literally the one who's cried the most the entire series. someone mentioned that this has a soft outside strong inside bottom tag, and i think it should also have a strong outside soft inside top tag. but i feel so bad for the guy, he took such a beating this season. in one day he got punched, broke his ribs, found out pretty much everyone he considered a friend was lying to him, gets the entire purpose of his life forcefully taken from him basically, and then got knocked out. PLEASE for the love of god ask fu rin how to teach you how to fight. lau really needs a training arc because i don't see how he could possibly stop the head family as he currently stands.

also, i get his actions from season 1 a lot more now. he had to grow up too soon due to being on his own. so as much as he rejects the attention from the one guy he truly loves, he deeply fears being lonely. and just when he was on the verge of figuring out that no amount of friendships he makes can replace the gaping hole of xin in his heart, he finds out that xin is the one orchestrating his friendships. i'd get pissed too what the fuck. maybe not react violently like lau does all of the time, but still. also i love the song the author made for lau to play. as zuzu said, i expected a more macho heavy metal style from him. but rather his guitar melody is slow, quiet, and delicate. it's really something, i can feel lau's loneliness just by listening to it.

the way xin was portrayed this season was so well done. i hate to use yet ANOTHER metaphor but he's like a ghost. despite not showing up until the end his presence permeates through all of the characters' interactions and his actions seem more mysterious. i quite liked his character already, but this season added a lot more depth to him. but with that, it also robbed me of my perception of him as my gorgeous pookie wookie angel. it doesn't feel forced though, it feels quite natural because we already got a hint of his weird behavior in season 1. it also keeps the story from falling into parts of the "damsel in distress" trope that i hate. xin actually has quite a bit of agency by the looks of it. if i had to guess he orchestrated at least part of this whole tattoo plan. and it seems he rejected chen's pleas for help as well. he was honestly really scathing this season, i find it ironic that he's the one saying lau spits out harsh words when xin NEVER misses a chance to bite back at lau when he's at his lowest. when he told lau "why'd you stop? did your hand break?" while lau was literally crying and choking him i audibly sighed. xin, honey, i love you but you can't keep getting away with this. but also despite his weird behavior it's still obvious he loves lau a lot, perhaps even because he loves lau a lot. to be honest though i'm still confused why he left him, or why he had lau join the band though.

season 1 makes you think the state of lau and xin's relationship is lau's fault for running away. but season 2 makes it clear that xin's manipulation and lies are also to blame. neither of them are fully to blame but they keep on hurting each other. its a pretty well written portrayal of a toxic relationship, and yet you can't help but want them to be happy together anyways. i really can't tell if i'm being delusional anymore but i think this will be a happy ending. xin please don't die!