True but we have to give the guide grace too. He rejected the esper over and over again and was worn down and finally ended up trusting the esper to not forget and he forgot not once but twice. The first time, he almost killed him. They both deserve some grace for different reasons and it is true both of them are currently hurting each other with their presence.
Oh, our sweet guide is completely blameless. I do wish he would communicate more but he's heartbroken and I completely understand why he's shutting down and trying to run away. I would do the same thing. I actually don't think I would be as graceful as he is in this situation.
You can wait for the next chapters. You’ll see how he will confuse the Guide about his feeling.
That doesn't change what he went through. He was, from his perspective, raped. If you black out and someone has sex with you then you have been raped. He blacked out and someone had sex with him. He didn't consent to it.
The esper is absolutely allowed to be confused about his feelings and act in ways that are irrational and confusing. This is normal, this is how rape victims act.
Now, I'm not saying that the guide is a rapist. This is a very unique situation that doesn't exist in real life and there was no villain. But that doesn't change what happened from the espers point of view.
He still woke up and realized that he had sex with someone that he didn't want to have sex with and now he has to work through his feelings on that. He's allowed to be a rational, he's allowed to be confused, he's allowed to be confusing, he's even allowed to lash out. He's the real victim here.
Just want to add my perspective to this…. this is not comparable to rape or being drunk and sleeping with someone since ml was able to consent (and you can’t consent while drunk, he was sober)…
That is like saying people with dementia/amnesia and memory loss have been raped their entire life because at one point they don’t remember. It is definitely very traumatic tho to wake up with memories missing so ml is definitely valid for being confused. He is a victim but he is not a rape victim…
People with dementia absolutely cannot consent to sex. Period. They can't consent to anything. Someone with dementia can't change their will, they can't sign a contract, they can't agree to anything. Legally they are not capable of consent, they are not considered competent. Why would you think someone with dementia is capable of consent? Are you a predator?
I'm sorry but that's such a gross statement. That's disgusting.
If you are drunk, if you are high, if you are suffering from a traumatic brain injury, if you have a severe developmental disability, if you have something happen to you that makes it so your brain does not function correctly then you are not capable of consent.
And more importantly than his capacity to consent is the fact that his memory is gone. He might have consented at the time but it doesn't matter because he doesn't remember. If he doesn't remember then what's the difference to him, to his nervous system, to his consciousness, to his subconsciousness... What is the difference to him? There is no difference to him. He woke up with no memory and realized someone had sex with him.
He has no idea what happened all he knows is that someone had sex with him and he doesn't remember it. What is that if not rape? How would you feel if that happened to you? You would feel raped!
It is perfectly normal and acceptable for the esper to be acting like a rape victim. All of his irrational behavior is because he is a rape victim. As far as he's concerned, he was raped. You claim he consented but he has no memory of that. How can he consent if he was in an altered state of consciousness and has no memory of it? He can't.
The only thing that makes this okay is that the guide had no way to know that he wouldn't remember it. And the guide knew he was in an altered state of consciousness, so he really shouldn't have had sex with a poor guy. The guide knew better...
If a drunk person is incredibly insistent that they're into you and that they want to have sex with you, do you have sex with them? No you don't because you know they're in an altered state of consciousness and can consent.
But I still don't blame the guide because this is a fictional situation and it's not a one-to-one. However, if the situation were reversed and the esper was the bottom then everyone would be furious at the guide for taking advantage of his altered consciousness.
The fact that the comments are up in arms ranting about how this poor esper was raped is just an example of misandry. Because men can't be raped if they're the top, lol. I would not have to argue this if the esper was the bottom.
You missunderstood. I mean before their diagnosis if they have sex….aka u have sex and you get dementia or amnesia one month later (like in the story when ml loses memories of him later after they have sex). You still consented before memory loss so its not rape.
The fact is he consented and he was sober, he was not drunk, he was capable of consent There was no rape in this scenario because he was not drunk or unable to consent or forced in any way. Its impossible to be a rape victim if there was no rape. He can feel like that but its still a fact that rape didn’t happen.
Like if you are married with someone for your whole life and you forget them at one point that doesn’t mean that you were raped you whole life before? Even if you don’t remember them at all. They are two different things and equating those two together is harmful for actual rape victims. No crime of rape has happened in this story so claiming it has is harmful. It has nothing to do with their positions in bed and all to do with actual definition of rape that just doesn’t fit in this scenario.
So if I have sex when im 20 and lose my memories when im 22 it means I was raped when I was 20? Even tho I consented when I was 20? Thats how I understand logic of this idk if im missing smth
Why are you trying to justify raping someone who has dementia? Why are you so passionate about raping people with dementia?
What is wrong with you? I do not understand why so many people think it's okay to talk about their weird disgusting rape fetishes. It's wrong that you're turned on by people with dementia and that you want people with dementia to be raped. It's wrong. Your fetish is wrong.
I am kink shaming you. You should be ashamed of yourself for wanting people with dementia to be raped.
Also the esper already had a diagnosis. The guide was fully aware that the esper had a compromised memory, that the esper likely would not remember anything that happened during this period, and that the esper had an altar consciousness. This is very much after the diagnosis.
Jesus Christ you are deranged.
You need to talk to a professional about your weird fetish for raping people with dementia. You cannot have sex with someone with dementia. YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA.
If you have a diagnosis, just like this esper had a diagnosis, that you are in an altered state of consciousness and you have brain damage then no you cannot consent. If someone knows that you have a memory condition that will cause you to lose your memory and is currently causing you to act in a severely altered way then they cannot have sex with you.
Having sex with someone who is going through a mental health crisis, like this asper, and isn't able to form memories and also is acting like a completely different person due to the mental health crisis, then you cannot have sex with them.
I understand that you're very enthusiastic about raping people who can't remember it. I get it. I've read your comments and I understand that's what you're into. It's disgusting and you're disgusting. Stop raping people who can't remember it.
I am very confused about your accusations. In their hypothetical question, the commenter clearly said a person has sex BEFORE they have dementia. They are completely clear-minded and conscious of their decisions. They then HAPPEN TO gain dementia later in life. These are two separate events. Just because a person then loses memory of a relationship and/or having sex way after the event does not automatically make their past relationship with someone r*pe, only going forward.
The commenter never said anything about having sex with a person who ALREADY HAS dementia. In that scenario, yes it would be r*pe because they’re being taken advantage of, but that’s a completely different situation than what the commenter described.
He has amnesia not dementia, his memory loss doesn’t affect his cognitive abilities like dementia does. If you look at definition of rape its just a fact that mc didnt rape ml because they had consentual sex. No matter what crazy stuff you accuse me of facts are facts and ml was not raped
Thank youuu I literally never said anything about having sex with people who had dementia. But about how consentual sex can’t turn into rape just because sometime in the future someome gets amnesia or memory loss of some kind.
That's not true! Ice and pink milk has said that they believe people with dementia can consent. They use dementia as a specific example twice saying that people with dementia can consent to sex. They're the ones who keep bringing it up.
Also, in this story The esper already has a diagnosis for memory loss. The esper has already been diagnosed by medical professionals and has an official diagnosis that he is in an altered state of consciousness. An official diagnosis saying that he is not himself and that he will lose his memories.
How is that any different than dementia?
If you were told that someone was going through a disassociative event where they thought they were someone else, where they were essentially a completely different person with a completely different personality than normal, and that when they recovered from this dissociative event they would not have any memory of what happens... Would you think that they were able to consent?
If you were that person and someone took advantage of you and had sex with you while you were in that state, and you know they knew you were in that state, would you think that was okay? Would you be okay with the fact that someone had sex with you when you were in a deeply deeply insanely deeply vulnerable state that you didn't remember? How would you feel if you woke up and found out that you'd been having sex with somebody and you didn't remember it? How would it feel when you found out they knew you wouldn't remember it?
It's wild that you and this ice and pink milk scumbag who thinks people with dementia can consent to sex think this is okay. I can't believe you're saying this esper isn't a rape victim.
What you are literally saying right now is that someone with dementia can consent to sex. It doesn't matter if they forget that they can send it later because they can send it now even though they have dementia.
You believe that if someone has a diagnosis from a doctor that they are in an altered state of consciousness and are unable to form short-term memories that they can consent to sex.
That is exactly the situation that the esper was in. That also describes dementia, and you keep saying that you think people with dementia can consent.
You say in the comment that I'm responding to "consensual sex can't turn into rape just because in the future someone loses their memory" which is what happens to someone who has dementia... And also happened to The esper.
I mean idk if at this point you are miss understanding me on purpose or for for real or if you are just writing this as a rage bait. People with dementia cant concent to sex, i never said that I literally said before they get dementia. Also ml does not have dementia.
Clock it because why are they being obtuse
I never thought I’d say this on a yaoi that we are all reading but yall are weird af. Please stop discussing the logistics of whether or not it is SA to have sex with a person with amnesia vs dementia. It’s not even the point of the OOP. They were saying that it’s normal that he would feel violated as if he was SA since this is a man he didn’t want to have a romantic or sexual relationship with and to find out that in this gap in his memory, he did. And since - to his own knowledge and understanding about what went on during that time - he was the one who initiated and pestered the guide; he is the one to “blame” for such a relationship. He can’t even blame the guide since he knows as an esper, his guide really has no option but to comply considering their power dynamics and strength differences. He’s confused, feeling violated despite him being the “aggressor” and he’s suddenly pushed into a situation where he’s imprinted on a person he didn’t want to imprint on and has to navigate that ALL WHILE JUST REGAINING CONTROL OF HIS BODY FROM WHAT MUST HAVE **FELT** LIKE A COMA. No, the guide did not SA him. No, the OOP didn’t say the guide SA him. Yall arguing about this is dumb and kinda pointless since that wasn’t even what OOP or the book is discussing.
I think it’s more that he’s shit terrified of the esper. He can’t talk about it because it would mean talking about how the man he loved woke up and strangled him and tried to kill him not once but twice. He’s trying to be as unnoticeable as possible. That’s how all DV survivors survive in the end. By being as quiet as a mouse and as unnoticeable as possible until they can escape. He’s not just simply heartbroken and that’s the saddest part about this. Also please ignore the weirdos trying to argue with you about SA logistics. It’s really disturbing.
Gosh you have a lot to say but your argument is faulty. I stopped reading your 1000-word essay when you said it was grape. Looool
I'm trying to see this from both sides. This esper just woke up and is missing a huge chunk of time from his memory and suddenly his relationship with his guide, that was very professional up until now, has completely changed.
He's suddenly coming to realize that in the time where he had no memory where he was completely blacked out as far as he's concerned, that he entered into a romantic and sexual relationship with somebody who has expectations of him now.
That's got to be incredibly traumatic. It's like waking up after drinking too much and realizing you slept with someone and don't remember it, but it's for a month or more. That's got to be deeply violating. I think the esper's handling it really well and I think that we should all give him a little Grace.