My understanding is.

So. The only way to become “real” family is to be the same level aka: traumatized so bad that they can’t help but depend on each other????

As in: you can’t trust someone unless they suffer as much as you do????

Nah, helllllll no.
If they’re your REAL family then you don’t want them to go through what hurt you, rather you would protect them bitch. Not FREAKING bullying them with their most vulnerable insecurities.
(︶︿︶)＝凸