Ugh… **sad thoughts**

I am sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. If I may, I have personally never known true joy and purpose until I learned about Jesus Christ and His love for me and all of us. I know this is not the place you expect someone to say this to you, but truly only He can fill the void in your hear, He loves you more than anyone ever will on this earth.
I hope you don’t take it the wrong way, I simply wish for everyone to experience this kind of love in their lives because it changed everything for me.

No I understand where your coming from, I am a Christian, I know Jesus Christ, but it never felt any different no matter what I did, no matter what religion I always felt empty

It's going to be okay. As time passes and seasons change, you will change as well, discover new things, make memories, know people. You will be happy. Someday you will look back at this you now and be glad you still had hope, and never gave up

I've always been in despair and drowned in sadness since my early teenage years. Am I happy now? No, I'm not. I've never felt happiness in a long time now. But I can guarantee you one thing, instead of seeking happiness that's unattainable, just live your life as it's and go with the flow will ease your pain a little by time. It'll become less unbearable after all.

Have you considered seeking professional help? It helped me a lot to be given the contact info of the closest psy emergency hospital, even though I did not actually went there. It's just the comfort of knowing there's another way out than the obvious one, you know?
Social interactions also help - at the end of the day, humans are social animals.
Also that may come as weird but knowing this mindset is affecting you negatively is a first step for getting better. If you know there's a problem then that means there's also a solution.
I'm still looking for my version of happiness but at least now I'm not sad all the time like I was before.
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Also, regarding the earlier proselytistic messages, I've adopted a cat and her unconditional love for me works much better than any religion's. It's tangible, audible, reassuring, a bit spitty-smelly-stabby sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Maybe that's something you can try too.

I haven’t been able to get professional help because my parents don’t believe in mental health care. In my family and community, admitting to mental health struggles is often seen as a weakness or something shameful, so it’s really difficult to speak openly or seek support.
Thought sad, here people that had enough either take it till their graves or end their suffering.
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I have friends but I don’t think I can talk about this topics with them.. talking to people is hard. Might be because of my social anxiety but Especially when it’s something this personal..idk I’m scared of what they might think of me after..I’d rather just say whatever I want online

Therapy works wonders. Being able to talk to someone who can give unbiased advice without feeling pressured is wonderful for mental health. I always have days, weeks, months, years where I feel more down than others and talking to someone about it makes all the difference. Even if they don’t answer back it’s good to express it out loud. Maybe try talking to someone you trust or a stranger like a therapist.

In that case. I would recommend seeking help from other sources. You can call a mental health hotline to talk to a someone you don’t know anonymously, you can join online communities to share your experiences and thoughts with like minded people, and take care of yourself in the meantime. Things like eating healthy, exercising, meditation, getting good sleep, using coping techniques (videos on YouTube), etc. And if you really are adamant about getting your family or loved ones involved even when they don’t understand or believe in mental health issues try to sit down and explain it to them. Explain how you feel, how it’s affecting you (mentally or physically), explain how getting professional help could be beneficial to you, and why, etc. And if that doesn’t work explain to them why they should care and what the consequences of not believing and taking care of it are. Even if they don’t believe, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try whatever could help their kid. Many parents just want what’s best for their kid and you just have to show them why (whatever you decide to do) is best for you and your wellbeing. And if they love and understand that they should agree to do something about it. You just have to push for what you can and keep trying.

Ps. They have therapy sessions online now too. So, if your parents do agree, no one else would have to know as it would be online through a computer or phone with video and it would be confidential.

Thank you all for replying with helpful methods and your own experiences.. I am truest grateful to all of you’ll, I feel a lot better after saying how I feel, reeding your relief has helped me a bit and I am truest thankful for that..