Whats worst than your partner break up? Bestie break up.

Experience it firsthand. Ive never cried all night and nights becuse my partner and I broke up as the sleepless and crying i spent when my bestie and I got into heated argument

And since then, ive never opened up and made another bestie ever. Its like even if I wanted to, people around me says i have this wall they cant break through. Im not aware of it but i guess my bestie break up traumatized to my core