Ugh, it's obvious you haven't read the novel. Taeu really enjoys it. In fact, he himself said that one of the reasons he's with Ilay is because of how he treats him. He's very sweet in the novel. Ilay in bed. There were only two occasions where he had a bad time.
He pretty much fell inlove with Ilay through anal rape....so he gotta enjoy it to some extent. Literally, his feelings for Ilay started to grow after the rape started until he truly loved Ilay but that was hurting him because he realized how Ilay really didnt give a shit about him.
Also, right before he left unhordo, he decided to ride Ilay. Which seemed to show he can enjoy it with Ilay. What he despise is how Ilay treats him.
Atlesst thats my understanding.
So I haven't read the novel but from reading the manhwa I understand that Ilay treats Tayui as his special person subconsciously he's in love with him. I get that. As @BeepBopp mentioned Taeyui hates how Ilay treats him. That's what I'm pointing at. And Tay so many times says about how Ilay raped him multiple times. He might have fallen in love with Ilay but as a reader I just feel so bad for Ilay. He doesn't have any option to refuse even in Tay's words "yeah just do whatever you want" he just gives up knowing that Ilay wouldn't listen to him anyway. Now before you all come at me. I absolutely love the plot and I do know some spoilers of 2nd,3rd and 4rth couple also the upcoming bond of Tay & Jay. Honestly the whole twin brother lore is what keeping me up here. So please don't tell me to drop it I'm just pointing out Tayui's struggle against Ilay. I just cried when Tay just gave up when Yuri saw him in such a vulnerable state maybe that was their pivotal moment however I just think Ilay straight up raped Tay because he thinks since he is gay he's ready for anything that's what I'm understand when I see Ilay. I just can't ignore the fact that Tay's soliloquy tells us how much he hates being a bottom. Maybe I the novel which I haven't read Ilay might be treating Tay better but so far as a manhwa reader these are my feelings after reading the story. I wish Ilay would treat Tay better in bed like the amount of times Tay tells that Ilay cock is a monster repeatedly. He doesn't even use lube. If ilay just prep Tay atleast he would enjoy it. In my understanding Tae is someone who wants intimacy through emotions and Ilay doesn't show any until now in chapter 119. If ilay expressed himself a bit more Tay would understand him. You girls might know more about them but I feel so bad for Tay. The way he's always so angry and doesn't even get proper rest. Tay and Jay got rich boyfriends however Tay got the crazy Rick who's psychotic af and Jayui got someone who respects him. Tay being lucky but not for himself I guess
I agree with you except i find it hard to feel bad for Tai.
Yes his situation sucks. But it is frustrating as a reader that the main character actually love Ilay even though all Ilay ever did is threaten, manipulate and assault. And then MC being inlove but also being mad at Ilay.
Because thats what it is, Tai doesnt even hate Ilay, he is just mad at him. And as we saw, the moment Ilay says stuff like "i love you", Tai wavers. It's pretty frustrating how Tai is head over heels for Ilay and doesnt hold much of a grudge for everything that happened to me.
Yeahy, so, that's not a healthy relationship in any way btw.
You are allowed to like a toxic romance in fiction but be so fr, this is not normal and still rape. He wont eveb met him leave ffs lmao
Wont even let him leave*
Had a stroke
Whenever ilay says "I like you, I love you" Tayui can't feel the sincerity since ilay says this in because Tayui asked him from Tay's pov. Because the way Tay's expression goes in shock he realises and says to himself that all these words are just meaningless to Tay. Maybe ilay is in love with him but Tay is not getting any understanding of what ilay is doing when he keeps on threatening that he will kill him. In my understanding Tay sticks to ilay just so because ilay doesn't kill him. And maybe on the process he started reciprocating love and feelings towards ilay. But what can I say it's a dark psychological thriller so I'm not expecting anything normal here. I wouldn't agree that ilay is The sexiest BL top cause there are others who can outshine him but he is one of the many sexiest BL character that I will agree
I never felt so bad for a bottom. He's literally getting raped every single time. Xinlu and Ilay are both the same and Tay knows this. Bro Ilay is such a scum bag I'm so glad he is getting the realisation of how bad he's treated Tay. The saddest part is not even once Tay got an orgasam or ejaculated with penitration. That's why he hates being the bottom he actually doesn't enjoy just as he says. Usually you'll see bottoms somehow enjoying the penitration but Tay hates to his soul