maybe he's just autistic

no

I dint think so...

honestly yeah. it's so obvious

Hi, autistic person here with a "type" of autism called "alexithymia" -- YEAHHH... YOU'RE UM, NOT WRONG, LOL.

I used to react to a lot of this honestly in the same way, thankfully nowadays I get it a bit more. Not to mention, I also see him as demiromantic because I am too, and it takes me a bit to come to the conclusion that I like someone. But I could be projecting that too.

I also tend to lead people on, regardless of the fact that I don't mean it. I tend to be rather touchy, cuddly and make nicknames for my friends. It's never more than platonic, I just enjoy being close to friends. But people assume otherwise, which is a complete 180 for me, and it gets very confusing. It's hard for me to make/keep friends due to this. Not to mention, I tend not to get close to many people, and at the very most I stick to one or two friends for years, so people misunderstand.

When I first started to date, I just dated people because they liked me and I assumed I'd just one day wake up like, "Ah! I love them enough to marry them!" But something like that never happened. I've been through quite a lot of them due to that flawed mindset, and have hurt a lot of people.

Once I hit 18, I went strictly with friends with benefits because, just like ML I had assumed love was something made up from TV -- that, or it just wasn't made to be real outside the fanfics/BLs I read whenever I feel like I want to have some kind of 'emotion.' It was fictional, nothing more, and at least "friends with benefits" was a way for me to connect to people.

From my point of view, he's... actually being pretty considerate with the way he's going about things. But maybe that's because I understand what it feels like to be in that kind of situation, repeatedly. I have been yelled at many times, just like how MC has done with ML. I also tend to mask, be very friendly and kind because I know if I'm not, I won't be accepted or people would see me differently and that's just a pain in the ass. I tend to blurt out what I think, too.

I don't blame MC by any means, btw, I can be pretty inconsiderate without even noticing, especially towards friends -- like how for months my friend thought I was ignoring them, but it was because I had a job along with college and wanted to focus on that, because logically that's what I'm supposed to do right? -- MC has every right to be mad at ML.

It's hard trusting someone who doesn't react in the same way everyone else does, and that can be off-putting, causing an evolutionary defense mechanism of when prey sees a predator. People fear emotional blankness because it disrupts how we read others, build trust, and feel safe. So the brain might associate blankness with danger or manipulation. So when someone shows no emotion, our brains go on high alert: “Something’s not right—and I can’t tell what. But I hate it, must run.”

Anyway, I ranted... I hope ML gets his shit together and this is based on just my experience, I'm not speaking for every autistic person out there. We are all different.

Oh interesting. Thx for the new info

I think you're right. Not sure about autism, as I don't recognise any traits in him there, but the demiromantic, alexithymia I see 100%.

I dont really get the 'love is just made up in stories' did you have no real world examples of love or people in your life who were in love to take their word that it exists? Even if you've never experienced it personally at this point? I'm sorry if that sounds accusatory or rude - im just genuinely curious.

I think it's my own issues that make the ml so frustrating for me. I feel he's arrogant and expects to always 'win' in life. I would withhold myself just to spite him and show him he doesn't always get what he wants. Which is yes, cutting off my nose to spite my face and just so petty. Im working on it

Honestly the reason why I don’t think love is particularly a good thing for me is that I genuinely don’t see the difference between a close friend and a lover or partner. But I guess thats more of an autism thing.

I had a pretty bad childhood with not a lot of love at home, so it’s been hard to like understand it, or understand that people want it? I don’t seek it out, nor do I notice it when it’s in front of me. It all feels the same. It’s not like I'm on the ace spectrum, I don’t think, I just haven’t found that person for me.

I think I’ve loved before but it’s all been pretty fleeting. I don’t really need it to survive but I do enjoy it when I can get it. Which is why I read BL instead, I get to kinda feel that love that I don’t usually feel and then move on. Another reason why I don’t think I'm Ace, just very demiromantic and people rush me too much, tch.

Although I will say, if you thought I meant any and all love is faked, I don’t believe that. I do believe people love in their own way and I love in my own way too. I *used* to believe it all was faked, that people had some kind of selfishness to keep someone to themselves for the sake of “I want them to be always mine” etc etc, whatever other emo thing I thought about in my 2010 scene era, LOL.

I understand that people can be head over heels for others, especially because I kinda realized that my hyperfixation for a character is almost the same, same goes with my love for my dog — at least thats how I reason with it. I also still have a crush on a guy from high school, which has lasted about 3-4 years… but I think thats my brain being pissed that I didn’t at least flirt or get with him despite the fact that he was questioning, most likely due to me — my bad, K.

Off topic, I can be a hopeless romantic which… ironically is what ML kinda is, I mean, soulmates? Yeah, thats a romantic talking regardless if he believes that or not.

But I agree, I don’t usually like really overly emotionally people, but people who are overly emotionless are also pretty annoying to me because I tend to see myself in them.

If I met this guy… yeah, honestly, we would be at each other’s throats because I too would misunderstand him, I’d believe he’s a two faced asshole. But once you start to read a little more, you tend to understand where the issue is. I mean, have we seen his backstory yet? I can’t remember. I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have a loving home. If not then, yeah some people can be born with it. I tend to not judge a book by its cover simply because people have always judged me unfairly.

I wouldn’t mind it much, but I’d def ask many questions. There needs to be more communication. The Mc should be asking: Why the switch up and can I trust that I understand you completely that this isn’t a fling for you and we both want something more?

Idk, it’s 5 am and I’m tired… (￣∇￣")

Yeah i totally agree, I'd be diving deep into what the hell changed for you to suddenly feel this way? Rather than jumping down his throat, especially since the mc actually likes him

I get where you're coming from more with the love stuff now. It makes sense how it's not something you seek out or something you feel is missing. That's a good thing! I would also say it doesn't have to be as serious, be all end all love as many think. Love can change and we all love differently as you say.

My husband is autistic- he's not had the struggles with love but he struggles with understanding emotions, tone and intention. Definitely doesn't understand his own emotions or feelings - takes days for him to realise and work through things sometimes, which is probably quite normal too? I dunno.

But yeah I think this is a great story as it's such a different conflict that is hopefully nice to watch them work out. Unlike so many others that are very cliche and problematic. I mean I read those and enjoy them too but this definitely sticks out i think!

I may think the ml is a jerk but I'd probably have sat down and had a full probing deep dive convo with him about why he feels the way he does, so it might have all ended quite amicably

Honestly, the thing with your husband is pretty accurate (Also wow people are like my age reading this stuff? God, I only ever find teenagers reading this stuff all the time, nice to know). It takes me about a week to figure out what to do with a very emotional problem, if I should drop a friend or not, etc etc. But It actually takes me on average 2–3 months to realize I have feelings for someone, if not longer. I guess we're just a bit "slower" to realize a lot of things concerning emotions.

I agree though, I really enjoy the story, it's kept me hooked this whole time haha. I'm happy the MC isn't some like "UwU he's so hot, but it's not his fault he's an asshole to me, he's just a baby!!" -- I'm looking at you Roses and Champagne bc holy flat arc -- But the guy actually calls him out for bs. The guy isn't a *complete* asshole either and... it pains me to have to say this, is pretty good with consent compared to... others (Why must BLs do this so much?? C'mon now, we aren't that freaky...) and the character arcs are good.

I understand the reasoning behind the MC's anger, honestly a lot of people have reacted to me like that many times before, like I said before. But they really do need to communicate... it reminds me of my High school relationships/the girls that have had crushes on me when I feel like I'm pretty clearly into men (Lmao how ironic, right?).

It's super nostalgic for me in a weird way, I guess?? ╮(￣▽￣)╭

Wow, my first conversation on this site -- despite the fact that I've been on here for almost 5 years now -- went pretty well.