How can you be sure that some mother's doesn't stop loving their kids by leaving?
It's your mother's choice to stay with the abuser instead of stopping it and stepping up to what was right.
Both of them has a fault in here.
your thought process is sickening @HannieRie
The custody is shit in South Korea. Most custody cases go to the father instead of the mother like in the U.S. As someone who lived in a verbally and mentally abusive household, my siblings and I were the ones holding my mother down from being able to leave. My mom confronted my dad on numerous occasions but it never worked. "instead of stopping it and stepping up to what was right" is illogical. The manipulation, gaslighting, guilt-tripping don't stop no matter what you do.
And what about your thoughts? Are you sure that you have a pure thought? Oh, don't make me laugh because it really shows how selfish you are.
Sorry but i'm not from those country that you mentioned. I from the country that knows how to fight back when things doesn't go right especially to women and children.
It doesn't stop if you don't have any legit support system that has gone through like that and knows "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH".
If my thoughts are sickening, how about you?
You don't actually see what other people have seen and experienced because you're so holed up to your fantasies that a mother keeps loving their kids even if they are apart.
Some are just relief to be away because they can start a new life without thinking that their kids are the ones suffering from the hands of the monster that they had escaped.
Your just the type of person that doesn't accept others people opinion because you are so grossly focus on your self.
okay good for you, but there's a handful of countries that are horrendous at custody, and South Korea is one of them. The U.S. system is shitty too.
It doesn't stop no matter what you do, that's it. If someone's abusive, they're abusive. No amount of law is going to fix it.
And as someone who's experiencing that, are you still gonna keep on tolerating it?.
The abuser might not change but as someone who has the will and determination to stop it, you need to be the first person to end the cycle.
I don't know if you're still a student or what is your stand right now. I can't say much because we have different lives and our circumstances might be different in facing things,but you know what, it's not bad to ask for help if you wanted to end the cycle. If you can't then hang-on and protect your mom.
You need professional help because it means that it's okay to be abused like that and it's not normal. Don't let the abuser eat up what's left in you.
This is a terrible and reductive take that shows complete ignorance of how domestic violence and abuse work. It's not easy to leave and often the moment someone tries to leave is the most dangerous. That's how we end up with so many domestic homicides. Your attitude perpetuates stigma and shame around abuse and causes a lot of harm
So what are your suggestion then? Stay until you got killed? Dear, i have experienced and seen people be killed rather than leave and fight back to the abusers.
If you're gonna stayed scared then it's your choice already. And i don't perpetuate stigma and abuse because i'm just realistic here.
Fight back or be killed, that's an option.
Why are the comments all so one dimensional. Sometimes women have no choice BUT to abandon their kid in these situations. She spent years getting beat up by him why? because she knew she had a son and needed to be there for him. If she was selfish she woulda left at the first instance. In cases like this, the women are a safeguarding risk and are generally housed by the government far far away from the husbands so they wont find their addresses. In some countries, the hostels theyre housed at, do not allow children and in other cases, women have spent years being house wives for the abusive men and by the time they make their mind up to make the difficult decision to leave, theyre broke and have no means to support themselves. At that moment, leaving the kid there is better so atleast they know theyll be housed. Especially when shes not the sole person responsible for the child. My mum is currently going through DV with the man she married and has two kids with him. Theres not a single day that I dont want her to leave them behind and run away because id rather her be safe and sound than be beaten up by a man over little things at 50 yrs old. Mums never stop loving their kids and I know she missed doyoon after she left but maybe she didnt have a choice to be back? Regardless, Can we start blaming the f men instead of the women??? Its the big 2025.