Responses
I think her not wanting for Raymond to kill is mostly because In this life she is aware that this is not a novel, before she thought of everyone, including herself, as just a character. But now that Raymond remembers, everything feels more real, and everyone finally feel like real people.
Also, she had this perfect imagen of Raymond, so I think she is strugling with the fact that he is not that perfect knight anymore.
Oh right, I get that.
I'm a bit confused why she doesn't just stay in that estate for a year. She clearly wants to live since she wants that Evans guy to die but she doesn't like the measures Raymond put into place? And she was so ready to go on a killing spree in her 117th life but she's confused why Raymond is doing the same?