In the novel Sayan’s feelings for Illic was a recurring thing—he was prepared to end his life lest his illness got the better of him leading him to seriously harming Illic, he even made Leisa promise to kill him if he ever attempted to seriously harm Illic. Before he died Sayan even tried giving Illic nearly the whole kingdom in his will, but his advisors and Leisa said that it was too far so he settled on giving him a huge manor and a bunch of riches. Sayan also expressed in the novel that he only ever lived for Illic because he was scared that if he died Illic would be left alone in this world. Sayan also tortured and killed Beize mainly because Beize intentionally tried to harm Illic(he even said that he would not bring Beize’s body to the family because harming Illic was just as equal as harming Sayan and committing treason). Ever since Illic reciprocated his kiss(during the battle in the forest), and actually showed interest in having sex with Sayan (side15) it has plagued Sayan’s mind ever since because Illic is usually cold to him, so he sometimes feels regret for how the relationship started and how it is continuing and he sometimes wishes that Illic would love him back. And there’s just many more reasons as to why Sayan genuinely loves Illic even though he lets the sadistic part of himself win sometimes when it comes to Illic, but regardless he still loves Illic in his own sick and twisted way. I think I should also mention that in the novel he delves deeper when describing his illness and from what I have gathered he is a sadist(obviously), and has multiple personalities, only two actually(one is what he considers to be his true self: treats illic as one would treat their loved one, sympathetic. The other one is the one we see when torturing Illic and other victims, the sadistic prick cares about pleasure, and sociopathic). Many times in the novel he argues with himself and what I mean is that those two personalities argue with each other—as for Illic, he has a bit of Stockholm syndrome, but he genuinely does care for sayan(I wouldn’t say love though that’s a bit of a stretch).
Woah thank you for telling me this!! I guess they were being extra careful in crafting Sayan's character with all the tropes they put on him (and glad they did, those things are tricky but it makes Sayan entertaining). I might've written my original post with too much joy lol, "love" does feel like a strecth coming from Illic and it seems like it doesn't change much in the novel? Oh well . Their relationship might feel heavy to one side but I guess this is already one of the best execution of its genre (probably thank to Sayan for not doing his worst and Illic for being so normal lolol), even more so because Sayan's twisted personality doesn't just "get cured/disappear". I think I'll give the novel a read sometime!
does the novel covers everything up until Sayan and Illics death? if so i wanna read rite neow tehee
No matter how many time I come back this is always hot and entertaining. Illic is such an unreliable narrator tho, his attachment style screams fearful-avoidant to the max, but I guess cracking his code is part of the fun cause not even he knows himself lmao. He doesn't believe that "love" is real, especially between the duje and a commoner like him. He wasn't even sure if he wanna marry his (ex)gf. Illic's feeling seems to grow after the duke start actually trying to be a decent man. Manhwa couple that start with manipulation and power-play always have that grey area left for its reader. For Illic and Sayan, I want to believe their feelings for each other is real and mutual.