They met when Hawen was nearly an adult so the commander had no hand in raising him, the commander had no romantic/sexual interest in him until much later in his life, both parties were fully mature and developed adults when they get together, etc. Sure, there was some other slightly questionable bits like the commander following and watching him after Hawen ran away from him, but I'm so used to purely dumpsterfire toxic relationships that I'll take whatever I can get at this point.
They met when Hawen was nearly an adult so the commander had no hand in raising him, the commander had no romantic/sexual interest in him until much later in his life, both parties were fully mature and developed adults when they get together, etc. Sure, there was some other slightly questionable bits like the commander following and watching him after Hawen ran away from him, but I'm so used to purely dumpsterfire toxic relationships that I'll take whatever I can get at this point.