^Going on the first part of your comment I learned the hard way. I actually just got out of a relationship about a week ago and it was one I should’ve ended sooner. The thing was they were so so so sweet. And I love them so much, still…but they were not ready to be in a relationship. So much shit from their childhood had followed them to adulthood and manifested itself as insecurity. instead of seeing a therapist about it they weaponized it and used it against me to guilt trip me and act passive aggressively towards me instead of talking things out. I kept making excuses because I loved them so much like “oh well they’re acting this way because of their step dad” and oh “they’re just afraid to open up”…but I realized it wasn’t my place to make excuses nor help them fix themselves so I finally had to cut things off because it was hurting me more and more each day. Anyways TLDR: if they’re a dick to you, it doesn’t matter how much trauma they have…if they hurt you END THAT SHIT GIRL because nobody deserves to have their sparkle taken away.
well said! And good luck with your healing, it takes courage to let go of people, mainly if we have good memories with them
Child abuse shapes people's sense of self, of others and of the world, I know many adults that can't let go of trauma and will refuse therapy at all costs, and I would never date these people even if I knew their sad past BUT, I often hear people saying: "avoid toxic people" but that's very difficult, we are all gonna hurt people around us from time to time, it's just natural to make mistakes, mainly for trauma survivors, what we must really avoid are people that don't acknowledge their toxicity and seek healing – hurting of course is not to r4pe or abuse:
This story normalizes r4pe and abusive behavior, we all know that, I'm just happy to see most of you agreeing that being hurt is no excuse to hurt others; our feelings are valid our actions aren't
This is just a work of fiction but don't allow people like Jaekyung to use you in real life