calling a traumatized, raped man a deadbeat father because he couldn't look at his child w...

I agree but it’s not her fault no one tells her about the situation. She tried to understand in the early chapters but she caught a vibe that the information is not given out lightly. So instead she just got her point across, “be a better dad.”

I know, but you gotta understand that it isn't an easy to do for the Duke, he knows the child isn't the one in the wrong, he knows he's innocent and that he gotta do better, but that's such a hard pill to swallow for the victim

but the MC doesnt know he is a victim. to her, rn he is just a neglectful father and she did ehat she felt right for the child. irl how many times do we assume and confront others about their wrong doings without knowing anything about them? just because he is a victim doesnt make his actions any less wrong and her words any less right

he doesn't need to share something traumatic to anyone, idk about his butler but literally no one knew that the former duchess forced herself on him, and he was assaulted, and the stigma as well of male SA victims, let's be fr, besides the FL didn't even try to find out the reason why the Duke is cold to his son in the first place, because her main priority was the son and not the Duke

ofc he would be her priority, she sees the son being neglected, that would be what she would focus on. I get the man is traumatised, i understand that and im not saying what he went through is lighthearted in anyway, but to judge the MC based off knowledge you as a reader know but she doesnt is crazy and unfair in that sense. She's not a saint, neither is he and all are just trying to do what they can with what they've got. Many people in this world are traumatised by something in their lives but we get to make choices in our lives, if we choose to be stuck then thats that but we can also choose to move past that and not let it define us. Having empathy for trauma victims are good but catering to them will not help them at all. In this sense, if she did know of his circunstances, she should show empathy in how she words her concerns but it doesnt mean she should ignore his wrongs in the excuse that he has trauma or was a victim. Thats not how the world works.

i know this is long, feel free to ignore and im not mad or upset or whatever i just feel like a lot of people nowadays are mistaking empathy or sympathy to enabling behaviour out of the excuse of being victims and thats a very important distinction to learn, not just for our sake as an individual but also for others.

oh no, it's fine, at least you're not blatantly name calling me, I do get your point, I was on the fence on calling him that, since he's feeding his child and not abusing him, like he's emotionally distant af, but does that warrant him to be called a deadbeat? I associate the word as to be a person who's heavily abusive physically, emotionally and mentally, and he's just emotionally distant and unavailable for the child, which isn't fine btw

i agree that those calling him a deadbeat dont know what they're actually calling him and thats an issue on their ignorance but then again a deadbeat in an official sense of the word is idle and feckless. Someone who doesnt support a child financially, so not necessarily physically abusive. He does support Noah financially so he definitely isnt a deadbeat.

the word really triggered me a bit, people are just throwing words out around like rocks, like even I'm confused with the definition of a word sometimes because it's been used weirdly

thats valid and understandable, im sorry that triggered you. people are weird sometimes. anyways, it was nice just exchanging thoughts with you, i hope you're well wherever you are

thank you for not calling me a bitch, I hope you're well as well