Wouldn't say Ian likes the chaoticness of the relationship because he actually doesn't base on flashbacks. But it's already confirm from the author space that none of three will die.
If he absolutely, truly didnt why does he keep going back to Tj? The story could have ended when he got with Joe.
From what we are shown, Ian went to tj once in S2. The rest he's always been forced back in. So exactly what do mean he's keeps going back to tj.
You put this into words so perfectly. Ian was never someone who could be “tied down” in a sense because he’s never had that feeling of security. He grew up in a home where his mother would neglect him and never truly be emotionally present. Ian would see his mom with several men, and then one day he would never see her again. There was truly never a present figure in his life.
His relationship with TJ is so complicated because of not only his upbringing but also his history with addiction.
TJ became more present in his life so much so they were like brothers before Ian went into addiction. This is where it gets muddy because you can see that their sexual relationship evolved from the wrong incident of events, that being Ian’s drug addiction. A lot of people don’t seem to talk about how Ian’s sexual habits stem from his drug addiction. He associates sex with TJ as a high but TJ is also the security he’s never known; family. The issue is that Ian no longer sees TJ as that safety blanket anymore. Yet he keeps coming back for more regardless because he’s all he’s ever known and because, let’s be honest, he is tied to the sexual aspect of their relationship.
Yes, thank youuuu! I love the deep dive and and agree with it so much! People underestimate how much our developmental years affect us as adults. Ian hasn't had a good life, and that reflects in his relationships and life choices. The chaoticness of his relationship with TJ feel familiar and confronting even if Iam himself logically has already acknowledged it's not good or what he wants. I feel like by leaving Joe with that apology note, that was his way of not feeling "good enough" for him and self sabotaged by leaving.
My favorite thing about Ian is how flawed he is, but I feel like people dont talk about him and only focus on the other twe MLs. I dont think him going back and forth is drawn out at all. I feel like Ian needs to go through it before he finally learns what he really wants.
I think people forget that Ian is also a flawed, unhealed character. That voltriol and mutual obsession he has with Tj is something he seeks because he isn't healthy. Him stringing Joe along, not committed is because he isn't healed yet. And although he likes and wants the idea of a healthy relationship, he himself isn't ready for that because the moment TJ left and stopped seeking him out, he freaked out and went to go seek him out! He likes the chaoticness of their relationship. That and them having so much history, it's probably hard for him to let go. Idk how this is going to lean, but what is think is either TJ or Joe is going to die. Don't ask me why I think that, lmao but I feel like it'll be because of Ian tbh.