Doesn't excuse him or justify him, but lets you understand how he turned out the way he did. Trauma looks different for each person, and it's complicated because it's reality.
1.) There are victims of abuse who learned that no one should ever suffer the way they did.
2.) There are also cases like Jerkyung, who couldn't properly heal and projected their pain to somebody else. Not like this exact situation, but I've watched people who were abused, pass on that said abuse (in a different way) to their children, and I am, again, watching how these children neglect their own children. It's painful to see, and very much frustrating because no matter how you try to guide and lead them, the abuse is like an ingrained normalcy in their bones. Worst part, they don't think they're doing wrong. The belief that it's “normal” is so deeply rooted in them, so they don't do something about it. My family pulled one person off that environment, and although she already made choices she couldn't go back from, she's living a bit better. Her issue is a different one, which is the last case I wanted to talk about.
3.) There are victims of abuse who learn, but whose coping mechanisms border on the questionable, which I guess makes them not fully healed yet. (This person we helped, her child became too spoiled that it's also become another painful thing to watch. I remember she used to say she would give everything she couldn't have to the kid. This child, if not raised properly, will suffer from a different kind of consequence because the traumatized victim projected her healing onto her kid.) And well, just to emphasize on this, another common example are overprotective parents — will not dive into it, I think we all get this part.
So, yes, traumas look different and we all heal differently from them as well. I can't say for sure for other people, but this is why I want to give Jerkyung the chance to do better. Of course, this doesn't mean I support his relationship with Dan. I stand by my previous comment (probably months or years ago already), that if after everything, Dan still ends up with him, welp, that's his choice and the author's angle. Remember, this is just a fictional story. Personally, I do not have the energy the deal with these kinds of intensities, so by then, I will imagine a different ending where they both heal and there is forgiveness, but no romantic ties.
Doesn't excuse him or justify him, but lets you understand how he turned out the way he did. Trauma looks different for each person, and it's complicated because it's reality.
1.) There are victims of abuse who learned that no one should ever suffer the way they did.
2.) There are also cases like Jerkyung, who couldn't properly heal and projected their pain to somebody else. Not like this exact situation, but I've watched people who were abused, pass on that said abuse (in a different way) to their children, and I am, again, watching how these children neglect their own children. It's painful to see, and very much frustrating because no matter how you try to guide and lead them, the abuse is like an ingrained normalcy in their bones. Worst part, they don't think they're doing wrong. The belief that it's “normal” is so deeply rooted in them, so they don't do something about it. My family pulled one person off that environment, and although she already made choices she couldn't go back from, she's living a bit better. Her issue is a different one, which is the last case I wanted to talk about.
3.) There are victims of abuse who learn, but whose coping mechanisms border on the questionable, which I guess makes them not fully healed yet. (This person we helped, her child became too spoiled that it's also become another painful thing to watch. I remember she used to say she would give everything she couldn't have to the kid. This child, if not raised properly, will suffer from a different kind of consequence because the traumatized victim projected her healing onto her kid.) And well, just to emphasize on this, another common example are overprotective parents — will not dive into it, I think we all get this part.
So, yes, traumas look different and we all heal differently from them as well. I can't say for sure for other people, but this is why I want to give Jerkyung the chance to do better. Of course, this doesn't mean I support his relationship with Dan. I stand by my previous comment (probably months or years ago already), that if after everything, Dan still ends up with him, welp, that's his choice and the author's angle. Remember, this is just a fictional story. Personally, I do not have the energy the deal with these kinds of intensities, so by then, I will imagine a different ending where they both heal and there is forgiveness, but no romantic ties.
[Sorry for the ramble. It's dawn.]