trying to predict the ending via...

when i think about how this is gonna end, i think of what it means for the literal story AND for what it's supposed to mean metephorically. because what the story means metaphorically is about a gay teenager facing the struggles of being gay in a heteronormative world. the people around him tell him how he's supposed to act and be 'normal'. being mixed with 'hikaru' is yoshiki indulging in being gay and clearly supposed to be sexual intimacy. which makes him both scared but it also makes him feel good. which the author states is intentional because often it is when we are either scared or horny that we are the MOST human.

but also the literal story is that yoshiki is with his little eldrich horror monster of a bf that is 'hikaru'. he accepts 'hikaru' because yoshiki reveals in a chapter that he sees himself as a monster because he's gay and had feelings for his best friend. 'hikaru' being there causes literal harm to everyone, yet yoshiki mourning his best friend keeps him around anyways. because he would literally rather die than be apart. he keeps mixing with 'hikaru' and it's making him not normal as in he's almost becoming the spirits from the other side.

so for the ending, it would have to make sense to solve both of these narratively. and it's clear that for yoshiki, 'hikaru' represents being gay and expressing it. And I don't think this manga is gonna end with a whole 'be normal and straight' message, at least I hope so. So I'm going to rule out Yoshiki moving on and getting with a girl to solve his issues. The problem is, because 'hikaru' is metaphorically supposed to be Yoshiki experiencing being gay and having a boyfriend, BUT 'hikaru' IS actively harming the world around them literally. So he does have to be literally be dealt with. But if he goes away, then it's almost like the story is telling us that Yoshiki just shouldn't be gay. BUT this is actively NOT the message the manga is going for.

maybe i'm thinking too much, but I just want to know how this is going to end. TSHD doesn't strike me as a long series and I don't think I'm the only one thinking that it's gonna end soon. At least for me, narrative wise, it kinda seems like we're about to see the end. I just hope it's an ending that makes sense and that I like. yknow a lot of animanga get bad endings, I just hope this ending doesn't make the whole story seem useless like other endings.

I don't even know what kind of ending I want. I mean I want Yoshiki to move on and grieve his first love, his best friend. But I also find his current relationship with 'hikaru' kinda sweet, I'm a monster fucker so I'm already on board with having some monster boyfriend. BUT I also would find it just fine if Yoshiki put 'hikaru' to rest, leave for Tokyo and just find a normal boyfriend. He goes around and struggles, but eventually he finds a man he loves and think it's worth loving again. It's hard being gay and dating BUT it's absolutely possible. Before Hikaru died, it's like Yoshiki thinks he's going to be all alone his whole life because he can't have the man he's always loved. But I think, it would be a great story if Yoshiki is able to move on from his childhood love of Hikaru and then grow up to be in a normal adult relationship.