I think it’s the fact that Dan reminds him so much of himself. Jaekyung hates everything he used to be, more so because he hates the way his dad was. So the fact he continued the cycle he swore never to repeat gives him an obnoxious amount of self hatred and regret to the point he wishes to just forget and act like it never happened. Not to mention the way his coach mentioned his mom not wanting to come back to see him act such a way, without knowing that she had long ago chosen her new family over Jaekyung anyways, probably gave Jaekyung a new insecurity and new reasons to hate himself.
My point is, his mistreatment of Dan is his way of coping with it all— as sick as that sounds. It’s because he sees all these similarities and familiar qualities between each other that he wants to reject him as much as possible, while keeping him close and in some ways, guarded. It’s an inner conflict between what he wants to prove to himself, and what he wants to see for Dan.
As for the sexual abuse, i’m guessing he just feels grand doing it. He feels like even though they went through the same thing, he’s almost glad he turned out in a better position since he’s not the one having to sell his body like Dan does, not to mention that Jaekyung sees Dan’s sexual favors as his way to survive, just like how he used fighting and even selling drugs to keep himself afloat.
Again, none of that is justification, just explanations and reasonings as to why he acts the ways that he does. Jaekyung is very much unhealed and he doesn’t even know it yet because he thinks having everything means that he made it in life. Dan basically serves as the ugly reminder that the past doesn’t just disappear, and that even though he has all the money in the world, it still doesn’t change what happened to him. That’s the main reason why Jaekyung gets so confused when Dan expresses discomfort despite being paid such a high salary, because to him money is the goal— because not being broke and not depending on anyone else but yourself is better than anything else out there.
Hopefully, this will change throughout the story in a well-paced manner since the complexity of their issues is so grand.
Sorry for the rant :p
you said it perfectly.
Man’s got his brows done since birth.
I get what the backstory is for, it’s for context. We gotta understand why Jaekyung is the way he is, it gives a character some depth.
But what I don’t get is why he’s so abusive to Kim Dan. Nothing in his backstory signifies that he is sexually abusive to people (especially of the same sex) nor is he particularly superstitious to believe Kim can give him luck thru sex. Kim’s not like the wrong crowd he went around with when he was young, Kim’s not an opponent nor is he any threat to Jaekyung (physically or otherwise). They haven’t known each other for too long for him to act that way for minor inconveniences. So… I don’t get it. Maybe I missed somethings and I dunno that’s just my unprofessional two cents.
Guess I gotta find out in the coming chapters. Might be more to it.