this chapter strongly established that what might appear as petty, hormonal jealousy from seoin toward taegu is actually a reflection of seoin’s deep insecurity and his mistaken belief that he is unworthy of yeongwoon AND unnecessary to him.
it’s all of seoin’s regret and frustration breaking through. he would have done ANYTHING for yeongwoon but was given no chance, as his mother forced him to leave quietly and taegu stepped into the place he wanted to hold.
he didn’t just miss out on being there for his first love, but also has to accept that help was needed and that someone else provided it. and 10 years later, that someone else is still there and still offers support, while seoin only spent the years filling a void. he wasn’t given a choice.
there is no show of dominance at play here but rather an old wound reopened and salt being poured on it.
when you are told something often enough, you believe it. all of jaewon’s abuse seeped into seoin’s mind and turned into a daily poison intake that he mistakes for truth. every time he ponders over something, that vermin pops up in his head to hurl more abuse and deter him from any will to express how he truly feels.
if only he knew though.
if only he knew that yeongwoon never truly found the help he needed. taegu pulled him out of the gutter and that has weight, especially when he had no obligation to do so and being a loan shark made him even less likely to ever care.
but yeongwoon’s HEART never healed. he never moved on. every moment with a girlfriend only reminded him of seoin. he could never fully open himself to anyone else.
he could never quiet the voice of his own insecurities, sometimes also taking the shape of jaewon. all his determination to start anew is more wishful thinking than reality.
yeongwoon may have found support in a more material sense and got to avoid being taken advantage of by creeps who prey on the vulnerable and that matters deeply.
there’s no question that if taegu hadn’t stepped up, yeongwoon’s life could’ve taken a much darker turn.
but the healing of yeongwoon’s SOUL lies far beyond that, and only seoin can provide. it’ll be a beautiful day when he realizes that
this chapter strongly established that what might appear as petty, hormonal jealousy from seoin toward taegu is actually a reflection of seoin’s deep insecurity and his mistaken belief that he is unworthy of yeongwoon AND unnecessary to him.
it’s all of seoin’s regret and frustration breaking through. he would have done ANYTHING for yeongwoon but was given no chance, as his mother forced him to leave quietly and taegu stepped into the place he wanted to hold.
he didn’t just miss out on being there for his first love, but also has to accept that help was needed and that someone else provided it. and 10 years later, that someone else is still there and still offers support, while seoin only spent the years filling a void. he wasn’t given a choice.
there is no show of dominance at play here but rather an old wound reopened and salt being poured on it.
when you are told something often enough, you believe it. all of jaewon’s abuse seeped into seoin’s mind and turned into a daily poison intake that he mistakes for truth. every time he ponders over something, that vermin pops up in his head to hurl more abuse and deter him from any will to express how he truly feels.
if only he knew though.
if only he knew that yeongwoon never truly found the help he needed. taegu pulled him out of the gutter and that has weight, especially when he had no obligation to do so and being a loan shark made him even less likely to ever care.
but yeongwoon’s HEART never healed. he never moved on. every moment with a girlfriend only reminded him of seoin. he could never fully open himself to anyone else.
he could never quiet the voice of his own insecurities, sometimes also taking the shape of jaewon. all his determination to start anew is more wishful thinking than reality.
yeongwoon may have found support in a more material sense and got to avoid being taken advantage of by creeps who prey on the vulnerable and that matters deeply.
there’s no question that if taegu hadn’t stepped up, yeongwoon’s life could’ve taken a much darker turn.
but the healing of yeongwoon’s SOUL lies far beyond that, and only seoin can provide. it’ll be a beautiful day when he realizes that