Oh gosh. You explained it all too well.
I adore this explanation because this also explains why he seems to take such joy in being there for Courtney the few moments she IS vulnerable. He enjoys her domineering over him to break that dichotomy of power he's always held, but it's not an all-or-nothing role. Ultimately, he just wants her to "take" from him in any way that's related to her genuine happiness and their connection growing together. If he can give her that in soothing her in these moments that's just as meaningful. God, I love seeing these relationship dynamic.
I don’t think it’s quite about being used.. it feels like he is looking for a real bond, people have always been beneath so he felt like something real could not happen, he needs someone who will be on top to take the lead, to take the control, to relieve the pressure of expectations, to make him forget about everything, to only make him focus about the moment rn, he just wants to let go. This is what I’m hearing from him. I think what really drives this guy is the control Courtney will have on him, if she’s not enjoying it, it’s the same as Richard controlling what goes and what doesn’t, and that’s not quite what he wants, cause then it’s not real, the bond is not there and he’s still very much in control, it’s the same as just ordering a servant to do that. He wants to become subservient to her desires, that’s why he’s trying to plant them in her, make them surface and that’s why he need her to be his queen cause then outside of all this they are equal so she won’t be beneath him to make the bond real.