big age gap

y’all are so fucking weak

Same... I totally understand your feelings and I agree. I also find it embarrassing, because a 10-year age gap doesn't have the same weight depending on the age of the people. Between 30 and 40, for example, it's much less shocking. But when one is only 19, they're barely out of adolescence, they're still developing their own personality, while the other already has ten years more life experience. In reality, no truly balanced adult would get into such a relationship, because the gap in maturity and experience is enormous.

I Didnt even know one of em was 19 whaat,

weak for thinking a 19 year old and a 29 year shouldn’t be together??? that big of an age gap will/should never be norm yall are the ppl who’s fucking weird for trying it normalize that shit

the guy playing the violin is 19 i literally was in shock when the manga said it cant believe i got 10 dislikes and someone calling me weak for thinking this shit is weird

literally agree with everything you’re saying. i don’t get why these age gaps are so normalized in the bl/yaoi community like there’s no need for this ppl would tweak if this is happening irl but bc it’s in manga (could be cause it’s bl/yaoi also) apparently morals are out the window

Why It should be immoral? From 18 year it’s legal to drive, marry, have a children, drink, gamble and go to the jail… So why this should by strange

Just because it's legal doesn't mean it's moral. A 19-year-old doesn’t have the same psyche, maturity or life experience as a 29-year-old. It’s literally scientific the brain, especially the prefrontal cortex responsible for decision-making and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until around 25. So yes, it’s legal, but the maturity gap creates a power imbalance that makes this kind of relationship questionable.

Exactly. Yaoi fetishizes gay men rather than representing them, which is why the relationships feel so detached from reality. Many readers don’t want realism because it would break the fantasy bubble. And yes, Japan has a long history of minimizing issues like grooming and pedophilia they even defended ‘shota’ drawings when rewriting child protection laws. People often say "it’s just fiction"

just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s moral and ethical. the probability of a potential power imbalance, predatory behavior to appear where the younger is being taken advantage of, and unequal levels of maturity between the two partners is significantly higher. being 18, your brain is still underdeveloped. many people who have turned 18 are still trying to find themselves with their passion and place in the world, like Touka with his violin and passion for music. at the age of 29, the brain is developed, and you’re someone who has a stable career and have mostly gone through the life experiences to shape who you are, Izusu has, even more so with being deaf. just because Touka is 19 doesnt mean there was a switch that gave him all the experiences that makes him equal to Izusu. I’m also not trying to infantilize him also since he is 19 but coming from someone who is 20 and around the same age as Touka in a generalization we are drastically different in so many ways compared to a 29 year old that there should have been no connection or even a relationship to develop.

i just want to i’m so happy to have someone else with a rational mindset here i just want to thank you for making me feel not alone on this topic

it’s fiction who gaf, find some actual problems to worry about

aintnoway not u using the excuse “it’s fiction” to justify this shit ur the exact type to say this as well when there’s manga geared towards shotacons, lolicons, straight SA etc. dont you sad sack of shit and no!!! i will keep complaining knowing u get so bothered by it

Sorry I think we will never agree in this topic

yea and u and the other ppl are big ass weirdos for that trying to defend 19 and 29

No problem. Honestly, I’m just tired of people deliberately ignoring problematic topics just because the art is pretty or because it's "fiction". Thanks for bringing this up and not backing down on your point.

I don’t think that my life is weird

In that age when I was 19 I would never date someone who is still in school and live with parens when I already live alone and need to find a job. So it’s totally normal to find partner who already have job and living alone… who have same problems and not someone who’s biggest problem is school

What are you yapping about bro? So what you were working and living alone at 19, which makes me doubt that you really are older than 19. Do you seriously think that you living alone and working at 19 is the same as someone who’s 29 living alone and working?? Like, are you kidding me? And sure, assuming you were 19, you had different priorities than what a regular 19-year-old is going through; you’d rather go ahead and date someone a decade older than you than explore your options of people being more around your age or even those 1-2 years older. Like, do you think having a job and living alone and personalities possibly clicking are a go-ahead to potentially dating them? And assuming since you think it’s okay for a 10-year age gap to date, you yourself had dated these people when you were 19, and I’m sorry to say that those adults failed you in that instead of refusing to date you because of so many different factors, they thought it was okay to. It is their responsibility as the considerably older adult to step in and realize how an age-gap relationship with a 19-year-old is weird and to put a stop to it. And also, if you are older especially considerably older than 19 right now, and are open to dating 19-year-olds, it’s honestly really concerning to me, and it really says a lot about what kind of person you are.

I’m apart with my partner 5 years (8 years together) but my parens are 10 years apart