This was good and I really liked it but…. Man reading this I wasn’t doing too hot for a second there. Thank god the author hurried up and didn’t dwell even longer on the parents cause damn that was bringing up my own trauma. I love psychological thrillers but this one got me. The whole freak out and blur thing. And his whole freak out about the urn. Sorry to vent but the whole thing got me on edge. It reminded me of watching my mother die and the blur I went through for a year. I couldn’t tell you what happened after she died that day. Leaving the hospital and talking to my step mom and then the next thing I knew I was moving stuff out off her house trying to help my twin move in with our aunt. Then I was Working all the time. 3 jobs and full time school right out of high school. I knew something was wrong with me but I could bring myself to bring it up and not one person ever asked me if I was okay. In fact even family would get mad at me instead of help. One time I didn’t want to bring a lunch to school because it was during Covid and I wasn’t allowed (plus I’ve never really enjoyed eating. Most food tastes disgusting. I just saw less of a point in eating after my mom died) and my step mom got pissed when i wouldn’t pack a lunch. When i told her why she accused me of lying saying it was because i was too lazy to make a lunch. And when i wasn’t doing well she suggested i tried school therapy but got pissed at me when my dad suggested it because according to her “ I just liked spending his money”. (I’ve never asked for money. I’ve always paid for my own school and I paid her to live there too) Anyway I don’t remember much of what happened that year just that it felt like I couldn’t breath. Anyway I got even more freaked out with the urn part when he couldn’t find her cause I remember not knowing where I put my mothers urn and being so scared of losing her. Then I remembered I put in in the downstairs area where I lived. (At this point I moved out and lived at my job and the in other rooms which were luckily not mine they got bed bugs. So we had to leave a lot of our stuff downstairs while we lived in another building for a month or more) so I had to go without her for a bit but I felt anxious and would be kept up from the fear that she’d be gone suddenly. Or that maybe I didn’t know where I put her. Eventually if I remember right I went crazy with fear that I snuck down there to get her. Anyway I know that I should’ve just continued on especially since it was triggering me but I couldn’t help but continue to read even if I felt uncomfortable every time his parents were mentioned or every time he wasn’t doing well at the ml place. I guess I just wanted to know how he dealt with it. (I guess I did better in that regard.)
This was good and I really liked it but…. Man reading this I wasn’t doing too hot for a second there. Thank god the author hurried up and didn’t dwell even longer on the parents cause damn that was bringing up my own trauma. I love psychological thrillers but this one got me. The whole freak out and blur thing. And his whole freak out about the urn. Sorry to vent but the whole thing got me on edge. It reminded me of watching my mother die and the blur I went through for a year. I couldn’t tell you what happened after she died that day. Leaving the hospital and talking to my step mom and then the next thing I knew I was moving stuff out off her house trying to help my twin move in with our aunt. Then I was Working all the time. 3 jobs and full time school right out of high school. I knew something was wrong with me but I could bring myself to bring it up and not one person ever asked me if I was okay. In fact even family would get mad at me instead of help. One time I didn’t want to bring a lunch to school because it was during Covid and I wasn’t allowed (plus I’ve never really enjoyed eating. Most food tastes disgusting. I just saw less of a point in eating after my mom died) and my step mom got pissed when i wouldn’t pack a lunch. When i told her why she accused me of lying saying it was because i was too lazy to make a lunch. And when i wasn’t doing well she suggested i tried school therapy but got pissed at me when my dad suggested it because according to her “ I just liked spending his money”. (I’ve never asked for money. I’ve always paid for my own school and I paid her to live there too) Anyway I don’t remember much of what happened that year just that it felt like I couldn’t breath. Anyway I got even more freaked out with the urn part when he couldn’t find her cause I remember not knowing where I put my mothers urn and being so scared of losing her. Then I remembered I put in in the downstairs area where I lived. (At this point I moved out and lived at my job and the in other rooms which were luckily not mine they got bed bugs. So we had to leave a lot of our stuff downstairs while we lived in another building for a month or more) so I had to go without her for a bit but I felt anxious and would be kept up from the fear that she’d be gone suddenly. Or that maybe I didn’t know where I put her. Eventually if I remember right I went crazy with fear that I snuck down there to get her. Anyway I know that I should’ve just continued on especially since it was triggering me but I couldn’t help but continue to read even if I felt uncomfortable every time his parents were mentioned or every time he wasn’t doing well at the ml place. I guess I just wanted to know how he dealt with it. (I guess I did better in that regard.)